pwsblog

It’s Teacher Appreciation Week!

2011-05-05T15:51:00.001-05:00

So here, in no particular order (unless I state otherwise), are teachers that have made an impact on my life in the classroom.

The two Mrs. Smiths : J. Smith for once playing the piano for me and telling me I could sing. S. Smith for remembering me years later and comforting me after my little league team got the snot beat out of us in the city tourney. And both for being great teachers besides.

Mr. Keller, for not giving me a detention when I came sprinting into his English class microseconds after the bell rang, because I told the truth. I believe I told him I was late because I was goofing off.

Mr. Butikas, for not pitching a fit when I dropped his Trig class to take creative writing. Creative writing was great, but in hindsight sir I should have stayed in your class. And for not calling me out for falling asleep in his class during Halloween time when some friends and I were working at the DACC haunted house all night.

Jim Conder, for endless rides to and from Jazz Band practice and for calling me up and telling me I had talent when I wanted to quit band in the sixth grade because I was sick of carrying that damn horn to school. To this day, I enjoy few things more than picking up my sax and playing with a group or in church.

Jon Dugle, for pushing us to play crap we had no idea would could play, and for making sure we did it with excellence. And the bad jokes, some of which I still tell to this day.

John Sanders, for opening my eyes.

Jim Beebe, for instilling in me a love of theater and public speaking, and continuing to be my good friend.

Mrs. Alexander, for giving an “F” on one portion of the final and an “A” on the other, and thereby letting me know that my shit did stink, in some respects.

Marion Blackburn, for telling me that my shit did indeed stink. Seems to be a recurring theme. If it helps, I’ve learned that lesson.

Ms. Millis, for reasons I won’t discuss here.

And, finally, every school librarian that took me under their wing and steered me towards books that would broaden my horizons and challenge my thinking, thereby teaching me as much or more than I was learning in class.

Cats

2011-04-29T11:32:00.001-05:00

Someone had to do it

2011-03-31T12:58:00.001-05:00

Great Blog

2011-01-12T09:11:00.001-06:00

Don’t know how this blog hid from me for so long, but Michael Pietroforte does a great job over on his 4sysops blog. You should add it to your RSS feed post haste.

I stumbled across his post on free e-books for admins, which he pledges to keep up to date. Great stuff!

The scarf lives….

2010-12-25T10:11:00.001-06:00

Three years later, the kids and the snowmen are bigger, but the System Center scarf is the same. Merry Christmas!

101 Freeware Alternatives

2010-10-01T09:22:00.002-05:00

From the Base OS to gaming, freeware alternatives continue to get better. I use many items on this list, including the various Google offerings, paint.net, Microsoft Security Essentials, TrueCrypt, and more. There’s likely something in this list you’ll want to explore further. My favorite that I didn’t know about before might be www.rememberthemilk.com.

Parenting

2010-08-31T13:52:00.001-05:00

Know your history

2010-04-13T11:50:00.001-05:00

True or not, the below is both interesting and plausible enough to be fun.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain, because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500's:

There is an old pub in London which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung. The horse drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''. If he said yes, it was referred to as "ONE FOR THE ROAD". If he declined, that prisoner was "ON THE WAGON".
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and then once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery. If you had to do this to survive, you were, "PISS POOR" but, worse than that, were the really poor folk, who couldn't even afford to buy a pot, they "DIDN'T HAVE A POT TO PISS IN" and were the lowest of the low.

Most people got married in June, because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell, brides carried a bouquet of flowers, to hide the body odour. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "DON'T THROW THE BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER!"

Houses had thatched roofs, thick straw piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "IT'S RAINING CATS AND DOGS."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom, where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top, afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "DIRT POOR". The wealthy had slate floors, that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh, until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance way. Hence a threshold.

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day, they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight, and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme ''Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot, nine days old''.

Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon, to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "BRING HOME THE BACON." They would cut off a little, to share with guests and would all sit around talking and ''CHEW THE FAT''.

Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food causing lead poisoning and death. This happened most often with tomatoes - so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

Bread was divided, according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or ''THE UPPER CRUST''.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of ''HOLDING A WAKE''.

England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, some were found to have scratch marks on the inside, and they realised they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, thread it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night, "THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT" to listen for the bell. Thus, someone could be, ''SAVED BY THE BELL'' or was considered a ''DEAD RINGER.''

From tomgauld.com

2010-03-29T09:10:00.001-05:00

Where’s the Obama I voted for?

2009-12-23T04:05:00.001-06:00

You know, the one that supported a public option for healthcare? The one that did not support the taxing of employer-provided health care benefits? The one that stood on stage after stage in town after town and derided his competitor for supporting mandates? And we won’t even start about the Patriot Act provisions you were going to roll back.

This senate bill that you appear to be so happy about, sir, would have been campaign fodder for you if it had come from one of your competitors. You’ll say it’s a step, it’s a start, but neither of these things are good if they are in the wrong direction. Insurance stocks are soaring, they’re thrilled with this legislation, and they should be. They likely helped write it – well, the bits that the pharmaceutical companies didn’t, anyway.

If this bill is so good, explain to me why. If you support it, don’t try to tell me you didn’t campaign against the very things that are in it. The internet has an endless memory. If they’re not already out, the Youtube videos are coming – one shot of you campaigning on the public option, another shot of you saying you didn’t. One shot of you supporting mandates in the Senate bill, another shot of you slamming Clinton for supporting them.

Before you were elected I wrote you a letter and said that when it came time to fight for health care, to fight a good fight, and fight hard. I told you about my wife surviving brain cancer while our finances did not.

I just never thought you’d be fighting for the other side.

I supported you in the belief that “hope” was more than just a four letter word. I’m afraid I’m going to learn that “change” is just a four letter word as well.

Taking Orders!

2009-11-28T20:36:00.001-06:00

Taking orders! You too can own a copy of my first published fiction!* At only $5, it's gotta be worth it!

Who knows, someday it could be worth $6! Hit the Paypal link at the bottom of the posted link. If you like it, go back and buy the first edition too!

Her description of my story is perfect: "a pizza delivery guy who has an experience straight out of a pulp-horror magazine". Go buy it!

*Technically, I've been published online, but this is the first time for print fiction

Completely Geeked

2009-11-24T18:44:00.001-06:00

Ok, I know, it’s not a big deal. It’s a little chapbook no-pay publication. And yet.

It’s so cool.

Published!

2009-11-04T08:40:00.001-06:00

Other than a short piece in the online webzine Aphelion years ago, my fiction writing efforts have languished in the drawer.

I am more than pleased that I’ve finally broken through into print. The start-up chapbook magazine TBR Tallboy has accepted my story “We Deliver” for it’s December issue. W00t!

I think it’s a fun, scary story about a pizza delivery gone horribly wrong, and TBR Tallboy’s YA slant is perfect for it.

You can read more about the magazine here, where you can also order issues. AT only $5.00, it’s worth it!

Contentment

2009-07-05T18:32:00.001-05:00

"Daddy,

scratch my back"

she said, sitting

pulling up the back of her shirt.

I did, because

that's what fathers do

when daughters ask.

Eventually,

after a few

"over"s and

"down"s

I hit the spot.

She sighed

the tension drained out

like a wound spring turning to warm wax

she turned her head

and looked at me

and smiled.

I wanted to tell her

that this might be as good as it ever gets

that six was easy but at sixteen

we'd be arguing

over

boys and clothes and homework and piercings and chores and other silly things

But

I decided to just take the smile, for now

until the night she needs it again.

Parts is Parts part 2

2009-05-18T10:32:00.001-05:00

I’ve finally gotten around to tearing down the two power chairs that I rescued from the dumpster. The Jazzy chair (pictured in the first two shots) was complete, so we just took off the chair and the cover to get to the chassis and guts that you see here. I tried plugging it in overnight but got no movement from it. The lights under the joystick were happy to blink at me, but other than that there was no activity. The left side motor (pictured here) is fairly covered with rust, and the lever the moves it from “freewheel” to “geared” is very hard to move, but still works. This motor may have issues and I’ll likely tear it down for a closer look

The second chair was much less complex (no ‘suspension’ like the Jazzy has) and came apart with a basic nut driver screwdriver and some Allen and Torx bits. The motors, batteries and control circuits all look really good and things don’t appear any worse for the time in the rain.

My current thinking is to begin with a joystick controlled lawnmower that I can just follow behind and control while it mows. This will allow me to at least prove the concept. At that point I can work on replacing the joystick with some form of interface to a receiver. I’ve seen at least one other blog where someone has done this, and it appears to lower the complexity of the build quite a bit. The plan is to essentially remove the wheels from the mower and build a frame for the drive assembly, then mount the mower in the frame.

Next steps will be trickle-charging all of the batteries to see if they’ll hold a charge, then motor testing and repair (if needed). After that I’ll decide which set of control circuitry to use and begin building the frame.

Watch this space for updates!

Parts is parts

2009-04-20T10:16:00.001-05:00

What do these pictures look like to you? Someone's junk, sitting by the dumpster and waiting for the garbage truck? Someone got a new power chair and is getting rid of their old ones? Someone passed away and relatives are finally throwing away some things?

These are pictures of what was sitting by the dumpster at the storage place where we keep junk that we don’t need every day but can’t throw away. Ok, well, stuff my wife can’t throw away. Really, if it’s been in a box in storage for a year and you haven’t needed it, don’t you think you can live without it?

I’m wondering if even the concept of storage units is unique to America, the land of consumerism.

I digress. Anyway, my wife looked at these and saw junk. I looked and saw four likely perfectly good 24v DC motors, two batteries, and the electronics to control it all. It was raining so I couldn’t deal with them right that moment. I worried through the night that someone would get to them before me, and went back to storage as the sun came up to go and deal with them. As they were too big for the van and too heavy for me, I hitched them to the van with the rope and towed them to our storage unit, where they await dismantling or moving to my garage when I get some help and a pickup truck.

I’ve long been a tinkerer, starting from one of my earliest memories of cutting the cord on my parents alarm clock to see what would happen… while it was plugged in. I moved on to forts and tree houses and robots in high school and computers for a living. But I still love building something unique and weird, and in these two discarded power chairs I see endless possibilities.

My first two thoughts: I’ve been thinking lately about building my own Segway. With one of these as a starting point it would be relatively cheap. While I think that Segways are pretentious and playthings for the rich, building my own would have a sufficient level of “cool” that I might just do it. It sounds like a tall order, but there is really lots information out there on the internets on how to get it done.

The other thought is lawn mowing. I’ve long had a desire to build either an GPS guided mower or a remote controlled mower. Given the large hill that I now have to mow in front of the house, this may just win out.

Time will tell, and I’ll keep things updated here on whatever happens with them.

Mike Rowe tells us what pig-wrangling is like

2009-04-15T14:22:00.001-05:00

Have I mentioned that I like Mike Rowe?

…Tell your grandson, when he has a moment, to take a large Hefty garbage bag and fill it halfway to the top with jello and yogurt. Fill the rest of the bag with marbles. Mix them all together. Ideally, the bag should weigh between 90 and 100lbs. Now, have him tie the bag shut, very tightly, and rub the outside in Vaseline. Then collect as much dog poo as possible and apply that to the entire surface of the bag. Try not to miss a single spot. The poo should stick to the Vaseline quite easily. Now, have him pick up the bag, and carry it from room to room as quickly as possible. As he attempts to do this, you and your other grandchildren should follow him closely, squealing at the top of your lungs, and kicking him.
It's kind of like that.

Startling Facts

2009-03-31T09:21:00.001-05:00

Startling facts in the Internet Age. Now you know.

uh… yeah.

2009-03-18T09:35:00.001-05:00

This is either “too much free time” or simply brilliant. Perhaps it’s a bit of both. Either way, I like it.

Flying Solo

2009-02-26T19:04:00.001-06:00

I’ve always wanted to get into RC flying, and this may be the thing that pushes me over the edge. While not yet available commercially, it can’t be far off. It may just put my Kindle2 desire on hold.

When I grow up, I want to write like Roger Ebert

2009-02-20T11:01:00.001-06:00

I am continually blown away by Ebert’s writing on his blog. I’ve followed his reviews since getting hooked on “Sneak Previews” back in the PBS days, and his reviews are still great. I generally agree with them, but even when I don’t I appreciate his opinion.
It seems that in his blog he's found his voice, an outlet for things note about movies. Odd that after losing his physical voice he's found it here. Or perhaps not odd at all.
About Dogs:
I never met a dog that didn't beg at the table. If there is a dog that doesn't, it has had all the dog scared out of it. But a dog is not a sneak thief like a cat. It doesn't snatch and run. Only if presented with an irresistible opportunity. It is a dinner companion. It is delighted that you are eating, thinks it is a jolly good idea, and wants to be sure it's as delicious as you deserve. You are under a powerful psychological compulsion to give it a taste, particularly when it goes into convulsions of gratitude. Dogs remember every favor you ever do for them, and store those events in a memory bank titled, Why My Human is a God.
On Steak 'n Shake:
A downstate Illinois boy loves the Steak 'n Shake as a Puerto Rican loves rice and beans, an Egyptian loves falafel, a Brit loves banger and mash, an Indian loves tikki ki chaat, a Swede loves herring, a Finn loves reindeer jerky, and a Canadian loves bran muffins. These matters do not involve taste. They involve a deep-seated conviction that a food is absolutely right, and always has been, and always will be.
GO read his blog. If you haven't figured out the world of RSS readers yet, his blog is a good reason to start.

They just keep going…

2009-02-18T15:33:00.001-06:00

Remember Spirit and Opportunity, those plucky little Mars rovers that were designed for a ninety-day mission? Five years later, still going strong.

A small but important uptick in electrical output from the solar panels on NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Spirit this month indicates a beneficial Martian wind has blown away some of the dust that has accumulated on the panels.
The cleaning boosts Spirit's daily energy supply by about 30 watt-hours, to about 240 watt-hours from 210 watt-hours. The rover uses about 180 watt-hours per day for basic survival and communications, so this increase roughly doubles the amount of discretionary power for activities such as driving and using instruments. Thirty watt-hours is the amount of energy used to light a 30-watt bulb for one hour.

Five years later, they’re still out there gathering good scientific data and taking amazing pictures. When folks decry the money we spend at NASA, it makes me insane.

The Wisdom of Mike Rowe

2009-02-05T10:26:00.001-06:00

Really, if you don’t read Mike’s blog, you should.

”At base, I still believe that you should try your hardest and do your best at whatever task you undertake. Whether you're splitting logs or sipping Boodles, do it well. I do not believe, that there is anything magical about an 8 hour workday or a 40 hour work week. Those are perimeters designed by people who write the checks, and accepted by those who draw a bright line between work and play. As a rule, I've chosen to avoid such relationships. Calling an activity "work" or "play" is just another label, and usually, a self-fulfilling prophecy. I prefer to smash the two together whenever possible.”

What's wrong with this picture?

2009-01-11T19:01:00.002-06:00

As I've said before, I think Wall-E is a great movie, an instant classic. But the more I watch it the more certain things bother me about it.

Let's start with our title character, Wall-E himself. It is apparent early on that he has a personality. He's curious. He likes to explore beyond his main programming, which is apparently picking up and stacking trash. He collects things that interest him. Clearly he's had some kind of malfunction that makes him this way. If we're to believe that he's a robot designed solely to do the above tasks, then there is no reason for him to be curious, watch old movies, or collect things. Our suspicions are confirmed later in the story when Eve saves him and he reverts back to default programming. No curiosity, no personality.

His curiosity provides us with brief bits of comedy. He puts on a bra, honks a car horn, can't decide where to put a spork in his collection. Neat bits, but if we are to believe (as we later learn) that humans have been gone for seven hundred years, does a bra survive intact that long? Can a car's battery - even a futuristic one - hold a charge for that long that is good enough to give us a robust "chirp chirp" from the alarm? Let alone the battery in the remote still be good?

I can accept that Wall-E has had some kind of event that has caused his programming to go off-kilter... until we meet Eve. We know right away that Eve has a personality - she laughs. She also floats, which we'll get to later.

What possible reason could there be for Eve to have a personality? Her job is to hunt for life - apparently only plant life, because the cockroach doesn't excite her. She doesn't need curiosity, just persistence. But she can laugh, turn on light bulbs, and solve a Rubik's cube. All apparently essential qualities for a robot who's sole purpose is to ferret out life from garbage.

And Eve can just float. And she has a beam that can grab things and float them to her - a tractor beam, if you will. Even though we watched all the ships take off in clouds of thunder and smoke, she can float. Even though the humans left behind thousands (or millions?) of Wall-E's to stack the garbage, she has a tractor beam. Technologically, she's as far advance from Wall-E as he is from Hero-1. But we're to be believe that they were both made by the same people... at around the same time. After all, when we finally get to see the humans we can't believe they've done much but eat and sit. They certainly don't appear to have innovated anything since they left. We see giant Wall-E's on the 'mother ship' and they aren't improved in any way. So why the difference? Why can't Eve be a clunking pile of barely functioning junk?

Her arm is an amazing weapon. What for? Blasting things out of the way so she can find life? No, she apparently tries to shoot anything that moves, which would appear to go against her purpose. But again we get a bit of comedy as Wall-E frantically tries to avoid destruction.

Oh, and she can solve the Rubik's cube. Why? What possible purpose could that ability have to enhance her main function? Perhaps her programmers expected to find life embedded or hidden in a senseless puzzle?

We finally make it to the ship. Perhaps we'll find some consistency there. Or not.

We're led to believe that the humans are couch-bound lumps, barely able to lift limbs to feed themselves. Indeed, they appear to eat everything through a straw. They lay in couches and watch a magic screen that floats above them apparently all day. When Wall-e knocks one woman's screen away, she's amazed at the ship around here, like it's something she's never seen before.

The ship has apparent artificial gravity -- when things are dropped they fall -- but when Otto turns the ship's wheel to tilt the ship, everyone slides to one side.

Yet the humans have managed to reproduce. Perhaps they grow the new humans, in vats or artificial wombs. We really only see them interacting with robots and image screens, so maybe.

When the time comes for the Captain to walk he does so with relative ease, to the point of fighting off Otto the autopilot. Even though moments before he had struggled to lift his head far enough to suck on his coffee straw.

And then of course, all of the humans discover that they can walk with relative ease. Amazing.

So Wall-E. Really, a great great movie, I haven't changed my mind. Just bring your extra - large "Willing Suspension of Disbelief" cap.

The Whoscarf lives!

2009-01-09T16:35:00.001-06:00

Who can forget the great Tom Baker as the fourth Dr. Who? Certainly not me. I remember blocking out the schedule to watch each episode on PBS, and even going to a Dr. Who convention in Champaign. There has never been a Doctor to equal Baker. You can argue, but my opinion will not be swayed. Now thanks to the efforts of this guy, you can create your own signature Tom Baker Dr. Who scarf. With designs from multiple seasons you can sport multiple versions and see who notices the difference. Of course, it takes a special kind of nerd to wear one, let alone make one. Off to the yarn store!

Flying?

2009-01-05T11:07:00.001-06:00

They call this “flying”. I call it falling with forward momentum. Other words spring to mind, like “insane”, “Stupid”, and “death wish”.

wingsuit base jumping from Ali on Vimeo.

Conspicuous Consumption

2009-01-03T20:37:00.001-06:00

I had the distinct displeasure of visiting WalMart, Hobby Lobby, Menards and other fine purveyors of dreck in the several days after Christmas. Christmas items anywhere from 50 to 80% off! Folks grabbing up porcelain nativity figures, garland, bulbs, miniature houses (entire towns!), and all manner of lighted / inflated /inflatable things.

For what? To show their Christmas "spirit"? To get in the Christmas 'mood' next year?

I don't get it. One thing I've come to see over the last couple of years is that stuff is just stuff. One more Christmas item to put out is one more Christmas item to put away and store for 11 months of the year. Another strand of lights is another strand of lights to untangle next year before they can be hung. THey're just things. It's just stuff.

I was listening to a call-in radio show while driving somewhere recently and the topic of discussion was "What has the economy caused you to change this Christmas"? One couple decried that they had to cook in thier second downtown Chicago home instead of catering in. Some people wern't flying to the in-laws like they normally do. Only one caller said that instead of getting everyone multiple gifts they were making charitable donations.

Is the purpose of Christmas to glorify and celibrate your saviour? Then what does that more? Giving to those truly in need, or, to quote the Grinch, "Gifts gifts gifts gifts gifts"?

Of course, the thirty bucks I spent on LED lights (on clearance for $1.75!) was totally necessary. Saving the environment and all.

Holiday Classics

2008-12-28T00:26:00.001-06:00

Ok, perhaps not classics at your house, but they are at mine.

With Thanksgiving comes the annual watching of Joe Dirt. I'm not exactly sure how this tradition started, but it has persevered. For some reason we love the Joe Dirt (and we have to call it "the Joe Dirt" for further unknown reasons). I think it's because the movie is so quotable:

"Your talking to my friend all wrong."

"See that peanut? Dead giveaway"

"It rubs the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose!"

"Home is where you make it"

"You are an underachievement nexus of the universe."

"You're gonna stand there, owning a fireworks stand, and tell me you don't have no whistling bungholes, no spleen splitters, whisker biscuits, honkey lighters, hoosker doos, hoosker don'ts, cherry bombs, nipsy daisers, with or without the scooter stick, or one single whistling kitty chaser?"

Joe Dirt teaches us to keep on keepin on, to make the best of bad situations, and appreciate what we have. Yes, it's a formulaic sophomoric stupid David Spade comedy. But I love it.

Then we move on to "How The Grinch Stole Christmas" with Jim Carrey. This movie is highly underrated. Carrey is nothing short of brilliant as the Grinch. Some innuendo and jokes fly right over the kids heads, but the movie speaks to the heart of what Christmas should be about. Widely panned when released, this has become a DVD classic.

Then we have to watch "A Christmas Story" at least twice. For Christmas this year I got both a Leg Lamp ornament AND stocking, so I'm set until the wife lets me get the real thing. This movie is so true to life and universal. It speaks to the boy in all of us grown men, taking us back to a time when the most important things were BB guns, bullys, and friends. There are days, even weeks, when I'd give anything to be back there. My new goal in life is to visit the museum in Cleveland where they've restored the house that this film's interiors were shot in.

And lastly we have to watch "A Christmas Carol", probably the most remade of any holiday movie. Not just any version, it must be the one with Alastair Sim and NOT colorized, thank you. There has never been a better Scrooge than Sim, and never a better cast of supporting players. It's long been a family tradition to watch this late on Christmas Eve, with only the Christmas tree is providing light to the room. Scrooge's transformation from frump to caring human never fails to move me to tears.

Must-Have Shop Tools

2008-12-17T10:47:00.001-06:00

This is the minimum tools needed for any well equipped home Shop or Garage. All of these are needed to do good job.

SKILL SAW: A portable cutting tool used to make studs too short.
DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted part which you had carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say,
''What the...??''

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of blood-blisters.

BELT SANDER: An electric sanding tool commonly used to convert minor touch-up jobs into major refinishing jobs.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools built on the Ouija board principle. It transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion, and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads. If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

WELDING GLOVES: Heavy duty leather gloves used to prolong the conduction of intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the wheel hub you want the bearing race out of.

TABLE SAW: A large stationary power tool commonly used to launch wood projectiles with the speed of a ballistic missile for testing wall integrity.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly under the bumper.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG YELLOW PINE 2 X 4: Used for levering an automobile upward off of a trapped hydraulic jack handle.

E-Z OUT BOLT AND STUD EXTRACTOR: A tool ten times harder than any known drill bit that snaps neatly off in bolt holes thereby ending any possible future use.

BAND SAW: A large stationary power saw primarily used by most shops to cut good aluminum sheet into smaller pieces that more easily fit into the trash can after you cut on the inside of the line instead of the outside edge.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: A tool for testing the maximum tensile strength of everything you forgot to disconnect.

CRAFTSMAN 1/2 x 24-INCH SCREWDRIVER: A very large pry bar that inexplicably has an accurately machined screwdriver tip on the end opposite the handle.

AVIATION METAL SNIPS: See hacksaw.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids and for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: A tool for opening paint cans. Sometimes used to convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws.

PRY BAR: A tool used to crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: A tool used to make hoses too short.

HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent to the object we are trying to hit.

MECHANIC'S KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons delivered to your front door; works particularly well on contents such as seats, vinyl records, liquids in plastic bottles, collector magazines, refund checks, and rubber or plastic parts. Especially useful for slicing work clothes, but only while wearing them.

DAMMIT TOOL: Any handy tool that you grab and throw across the garage while yelling ''DAMMIT'' at the top of your lungs. It is also, most often, the next tool that you will need.

For Fellow Trekkers...

2008-12-12T22:23:00.001-06:00

Our Gang on DVD

2008-11-24T14:52:00.001-06:00

I have fond memories of catching the "Little Rascals" on TV as a kid. Today I have a much deeper appreciation for the era they depict, and how difficult the early ones must have been to shoot.

A DVD set has been released depicting the shorts that were produced by Hal Roach between 1929 - 1938, considered the best of the bunch.

The "Little Rascals" shorts, on viewing them with my kids, are amazingly funny and brutally honest, and still as good today as they were thirty-five years ago when I say them first. This goes on my Christmas list.

Why I Like Mike

2008-11-18T12:06:00.001-06:00

I went back and forth on a title for this post. Dirty Jobs? Mike Rowe? Celebrating Dirt? But you've seen the show, or have heard of it. Dirty Jobs would not be what it is without Mike Rowe.

Anyway, several months back I got to meet Mike Rowe at a PDS conference in Wisconsin (at some enormous resort in the Dells. Apparently if you build a ginourmous indoor waterpark in the middle of nowhere, people will come.) Mike was the guest closing speaker, and he just sat down and told some stories from the show, and how the show came to be, and took questions from the audience. He seemed like a regular guy, in his jeans and work boots and ball cap.

The most interesting thing, though, was the story of how he's come to see his show as a celebration of the working man, the blue collar worker sloughing through the trenches (literally and metaphorically) every day. We've nearly demonized dirty work in this country, and look down on skilled trades people who we could not live without. Mike sees that, and while he may not be able to make it right he certainly points it out every chance he gets.

What I like best about the show is that he always has fun with his 'guest hosts', the workers, and pokes a little fun at them. But he never tries to do anything funny at their expense. You can tell he has genuine respect for these folks, respect that likely comes from being raised by working class parents and grandparents.

So here's to Mike Rowe, just a regular guy going around finding out how regular people get dirty.

Mike operates an irregularly updated blog over on Discovery, where he mainly answers questions. What prompted this post was his answer to a father who was looking for some motivation and encouragement for his son to finish his Eagle Scout badge. You can read the whole thing here, but this is what Mike has to say:

Kelby,
Your Dad asked me to drop you a line and say something inspirational that might persuade you to dig down deep and find the determination to make the rank of Eagle Scout. It's a reasonable request, from a father who obviously wants to see his son succeed. But here’s the thing - The Eagle Award is not really meant for people who need to be dragged across the finish line. It’s meant for a select few, and I have no idea if you have the guts to see it through.
Statistically, I suspect you do not. Only one out of a hundred Scouts make Eagle, so if you fail, there will be lots of other people with whom you can share excuses. Quitting now might disappoint your Dad, but I doubt that he or anyone else will be overly surprised. Anytime 99 out of 100 people do the same thing, it’s not exactly a shock.

He goes on from there, you should read the entire thing.

'The Name of the Wind'

2008-11-13T15:58:00.001-06:00

I just finished Patrick Rothfuss' 'The Name of the Wind'. I've read many, many fantasy novels. Some of them are just bad. Most are middle of the road : not great, but not a complete waste of my time. I started reading Rothfuss' blog some time ago. I'm not sure how I ended up there; linked from some blog that I found from some other blog that I found... you get the idea. His blog is refreshing. Here's this fairly regular guy who has struggled along writing this novel for years, and suddenly it's picked up and published and people like it. Really like it. And all of the notoriety and recognition and promotion and accolades are new to him, and his reaction is great to read. Very unassuming, very low-key.

And he hasn't forgotten from whence he came. He's currently giving away a slew of stuff if you'll donate to charity.

And to top it off he lives in Wisconsin, which is like my second home now (soon maybe my first!) and I ran across some signed copies of the book when the paperback came out at the giant Barnes and Nobles in Madison. Which was very cool for a book nerd like myself.

So it was with some amount of hope and a great amount of trepidation that I finally approached "The Name of the Wind". I needn't have worried. This thing is _great_. It is the reason we read, to discover new and wondrous things, to be transported to worlds we know not and behold their magic. To say "I could not put it down" would be an understatement. It is quite simply the best fantasy novel I've read in years and years, and I'll be recommending it to everyone I know that reads. I'll let Kvothe tell you about it:

My name is Kvothe, pronounced nearly the same as "quothe." Names are important as they tell you a great deal about a person. I've had more names than anyone has a right to. The Adem call me Maedre. Which, depending on how it's spoken, can mean The Flame, The Thunder, or The Broken Tree.
"The Flame" is obvious if you've ever seen me. I have red hair, bright. If I had been born a couple of hundred years ago I would probably have been burned as a demon. I keep it short but it's unruly. When left to its own devices, it sticks up and makes me look as if I have been set afire.
"The Thunder" I attribute to a strong baritone and a great deal of stage training at an early age.
I've never thought of "The Broken Tree" as very significant. Although in retrospect, I suppose it could be considered at least partially prophetic.
My first mentor called me E'lir because I was clever and I knew it. My first real lover called me Dulator because she liked the sound of it. I have been called Shadicar, Lightfinger, and Six-String. I have been called Kvothe the Bloodless, Kvothe the Arcane, and Kvothe Kingkiller. I have earned those names. Bought and paid for them.
But I was brought up as Kvothe. My father once told me it meant "to know."
I have, of course, been called many other things. Most of them uncouth, although very few were unearned.
I have stolen princesses back from sleeping barrow kings. I burned down the town of Trebon. I have spent the night with Felurian and left with both my sanity and my life. I was expelled from the University at a younger age than most people are allowed in. I tread paths by moonlight that others fear to speak of during day. I have talked to Gods, loved women, and written songs that make the minstrels weep.
You may have heard of me.
So begins the tale of Kvothe—from his childhood in a troupe of traveling players, to years spent as a near-feral orphan in a crime-riddled city, to his daringly brazen yet successful bid to enter a difficult and dangerous school of magic. In these pages you will come to know Kvothe as a notorious magician, an accomplished thief, a masterful musician, and an infamous assassin. But The Name of the Wind is so much more—for the story it tells reveals the truth behind Kvothe's legend.

Rothfuss displays a love for music, a high regard for craftsmanship, and places the female on a high, high pedestal. He also makes us completely empathize with Kvothe through his trials. It's clear Rothfuss knows what it is to pinch pennies. Kvothe is constantly concerned with money. He's terribly under informed about women. He is both a genius and a fish entirely out of water at school. I kept wondering how much of Kvothe was Rothfuss, and how much was projection of his dreams and desires. All of us at one time have wanted to win the battle of wits, make a fortune, slay the dragon, rescue the maiden, win the fair damsel. Kvothe does them all, and ends up nearly where he started.

If you read, you must read "The Name of the Wind". If you stopped reading fantasy because of where it's gone over the last dozen or so years, this is the book that will bring you back. The best thing that I can say is that, for the first time in a long time, I can't wait for the next one in the series.

Go get it now.

I didn't vote for Obama today

2008-11-05T18:59:00.001-06:00

One of my favorite blogs had the following post this evening:

Written by eastside93

I did not vote for Barack Obama today.

I’ve openly supported Obama since March. But I didn’t vote for him today.

I wanted to vote for Ronald Woods. He was my algebra teacher at Clark Junior High in East St. Louis, IL. He died 15 years ago when his truck skidded head-first into a utility pole. He spent many a day teaching us many things besides the Pythagorean Theorem. He taught us about Medgar Evers, Ralph Abernathy, John Lewis and many other civil rights figures who get lost in the shadow cast by Martin Luther King, Jr.

But I didn’t vote for Mr. Woods.

I wanted to vote for Willie Mae Cross. She owned and operated Crossroads Preparatory Academy for almost 30 years, educating and empowering thousands of kids before her death in 2003. I was her first student. She gave me my first job, teaching chess and math

concepts to kids in grades K-4 in her summer program. She was always there for advice, cheer and consolation. Ms. Cross, in her own way, taught me more about walking in faith than anyone else I ever knew.

Click Here for the entire post. If this doesn't choke you up just a bit, you're the Tin Man, searching for a heart.

More YouTubery

2008-11-05T18:30:00.001-06:00

Ok, you may say I've been posting far too many of these things, and you're likely right.

At least this one does not have Muppets.

History

2008-11-04T22:26:00.001-06:00

Dr. King said it best. "We've got some difficult days ahead. But it doesn't matter with me now. Because I've been to the mountaintop. And I don't mind. Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the promised land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land"

Fall

2008-11-03T20:30:00.001-06:00

There is a moment, a brief shining slice of time, when fall comes to Illinois. It's the day you can smell the smell of burning leaves far away. It's the day that you can go outside without your jacket even though there was a hard freeze the week before. It's the day when you suddenly realize how red the trees are, how brilliant the yellow of the maples, how bright the silver of the silver maples along Route 150.

The fields are almost done being harvested. The land lays brown and bare, like a new buzz cut on a five-year old. Grain trucks and combines and pickups crawl the countryside like worker ants laying in winter stores. The kids delight in walking in the leaves, shuffling their feet along to make a path that the wind immediately erases. Black cats and witches and hobgoblins decorate the city.

The sassafras roots lie just under the loam, ripe and ready to make gallons of amazing sassafras tea. Squirrels work furiously and without ceasing, hunting nuts and acorns, sometimes burying them and sometimes storing them. They play, chasing each other between and around and up the giant oak trees in Lincoln park.

You won't miss that day if you blink. But it sneaks in unannounced, suddenly and brilliantly just there. Get outside, get into the woods, get to a park. Get to a place where traffic is a memory and city is noise an old dream. Don't let it pass by.

There are folks that fly south for the winter, folks that look for skiing weather in the summer. Give me the fall. Give me beautiful trees and falling leaves and cold nights and warm days all year long.

Thriller : 64 parts, once voice

2008-10-30T23:07:00.004-05:00

I don't know if this is incredible or incredibly stupid, but it's certainly fascinating.

In my family we have a love for Thriller that transcends generations. Us old folks remember it from when Michael Jackson was still black. Our kids know it from it being a big part of 13 Going On 30, an inexplicably popular video in the house.

Regardless, this video is clearly a labor of love, perhaps obsession, and certainly far too much free time.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Sad Kermit

2008-10-24T21:10:00.001-05:00

Apparently Kermit did not take the death of Jim Henson well.

I have no idea how I missed this for so long. Hilarious. Go to http://www.sadkermit.com for more.

Perseverance

2008-10-24T18:50:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago we were at the local Fall Festival. It's a yearly trip for us, mostly because Grandma likes looking at the crafts (my take: more crap we don't need or have room for) and the kids like the inflatable things that they get to play on. Some company brings in the big slide, obstacle course, giant worm, mountain rock wall, and other things.
So this year #4 son decided that he was big enough to climb the rock wall. They found the smallest harness they had and got him strapped in. They showed him how the rope will not let him fall. He did a practice climb up about three feet and back down. He was ready.
And up he went. He was fine at first, but the higher he got the less sure of himself he was. We ended up calling out instructions: "Put your knee on the red one! Grab the Green one! Pull up!"
Eventually he made it to the top. By that time we had attracted a crowd, and everyone cheered.
Then he wouldn't come down. Wouldn't trust the rope. I was hoping he would slip, so the rope would slowly lower him down. But he hung on, getting increasingly scared. increasingly upset.
Finally one of the workers donned a harness and went up the rock wall and helped him down, mostly just showing him that the rope would hold. He came slowly down, hanging on the rope, not sure if he should be proud or slightly ashamed. We made sure that he knew that we were very proud of him for completing the monumental quest. And we apologized to everyone for him taking so long, but no one cared.
Weeks later we were at one of the 'cushy' play areas that are starting to show up in some malls. This one was sponsored by a hospital, so there were medical - themed items strewn throughout. One was a big black doctor's bag. The cool thing appeared to be to climb to the top of the bag and hang out. Most of the bigger kids were doing it. Number Four son had to give it a try.
He made multiple attempts, running up and grabbing on to the top and trying to get his way up, but it wasn't working. He kept slipping, falling back to hanging from his hands, and letting go. Finally he sat down and looked at the insurmountable obstacle. And then he'd tried again.
And again.
Finally he took of his socks, put them in his teeth, and gave it one more shot. The bare feet made the difference. He worked his way to the top and proudly put his socks back on. (I'm a stickler for them keeping socks on in places like those.) He looked at me and I gave him a wave and a smile, letting him know that I had seen him. And was proud of him. And I was glad he kept his socks on.
I note these things not because I am proud of my son (which of course I am), but because I saw the far reaching effects of what he was doing, of what he was learning. He was teaching himself the value of perseverance, the value and reward of hard work. He relied on himself, with a little encouragement, to accomplish his goals. He relied on his brain and his muscles. He learned that thinking before acting generally gets you to your goal faster.
And he'll remember it, because he didn't read it from a book or on a blackboard on hear it from a teacher. He lived it.
Now we could have said "No rock wall today", because he really was too little to make the climb. He spent a long time getting up there, and more time being scared up there. We could have sent someone after him much sooner than we did. And I could have told him not to climb on the doctor bag, because that's really not what it was meant for (there is a tunnel running through it). And I thought about both those things. But I chose to let him be a kid.
My best childhood memories are of being outside in unscheduled, unsupervised play. Being out in the woods for hours and hours. Just being in the neighborhood with friends all day and most of the night. Being a kid.
We tell ourselves we can't do that today, that there are too many risks, that the costs are too high. Then we wonder about childhood obesity and autism and time spent online and gaming. What is the cost of NOT letting you kids be kids?
Many kids today are so micro-managed, so sheltered, so scheduled. Let them go, let them play, let them learn. Let them get dirty. Sometimes they'll fail, and cry, and be devastated. Sometimes they won't. And every time, they'll learn.

I still remember Steve Garvey...

2008-10-03T09:57:00.001-05:00

and still hate the Dodgers.

Ok, Garvey wasn't a Dodger then, but they gave him to the Padres, and he'll always be a Dodger, and I don't have it in my heart to hate the Padres.

Go Cubs.

Tipping point...

2008-10-02T10:18:00.001-05:00

Please note the Electoral-Vote.com plug-in to the right that indicates Florida, Ohio, and Nevada turning "Barely Democrat".

Yes, there's much campaigning and debating left to do. But if Obama wins in a landslide, today is the day we first really knew it could happen.

Obama in the rain

2008-09-30T09:22:00.001-05:00

We've had eight years of Republican rule, and here we are. Yes, there is plenty of blame to go around. The crisis we're in is not only Republican made, but they're in charge so they get the blame.

The day after the first debate Obama was in Virginia and gave this speech. My favorite line : '..John McCain had plenty to say about me, but nothing to say about you."

In my next president I want inspiration, not division. I want calm and measured response, not jumping like a tick in a skillet. I want a president who reads and thinks for himself, not one who acts on "gut feelings". I want a president who's been poor, who has had to sweat the rent payment or the mortgage, who's had to use or watch their parents use foodstamps.

I want Barack Obama.

Saturdays in the fall...

2008-09-27T17:16:00.001-05:00

Will always mean this.

For just over 20 years I participated in or taught color guard, in some form or another, in some school or another. To this day a sunny fall day brings memories flooding back of competition, practice, bus rides, staff meetings. Tearful girls (both joy and sorrow), dealing with rivals and infighting and catfighting and friendships and breakups.

In High School I loved the performance, marching in front of crowds in the big stadiums, trying to get them on their feet, trying to improve my own performance each week. In teaching I fell in love with finding those students who were on the edge - the ones who really didn't 'fit in' with any crowd, but had some small measure of talent and could be molded into a 'guard girl'. Or guy.

My greatest joys were rarely on the field, they were in rehearsal. Watching someone finally catch a triple (or finally catch it FLAT). Watching someone who at the beginning of the season struggled with drop spins now casually do double-time or even peggy spins. Watching that kick-ass section of the flag feature go from a horrendous mess to a thing of beauty over the course of the season.

I miss it.

In marching band there are no superstars. You succeed and fail on the strength of your weakest member. Coach can't sound the buzzer and send in a replacement for a weak second clarinet. Coach can't give a rousing halftime speech to bring everyone back to life for the rest of the show. There's no time-out to give your starters a breather and discuss strategy. It's just you and the music and your instrument (or flag or rifle or body), doing the absolute best you can, trying to do better than last performance, trying to reach perfection.

I love the activity because it forces each member to understand these things, to believe in themselves, to work hard at achieving something that they could not achieve alone. It forces them to strive for something esoteric; not a "win", but to better themselves each time out. Yeah they keep score, but for the best band scores are secondary, something oddly separated from the performance. Your score is important, but it's not most important.

So I sit here today on this amazing fall afternoon, watching my kids run around the yard, and listening to part of me that wants to be in the stands, watching a show, or better yet on the sidelines telling each girl to break a leg as they step on the field. And then holding my breath for the entire performance, waiting to see what wonders they work with the show.

Good luck to everyone out there between the lines today. Break a leg.

Sept. 25th, 2008 - The Day McCain lost the election

2008-09-26T14:43:00.002-05:00

I've felt sorry for McCain for awhile now. Really since he clinched the nomination and handed his campaign over to Rovian surrogates and lobbyists. And supposedly "former" lobbyists.

They've taken a man who really WAS a maverick and unafraid to buck party for principle and turned him into a far-right clone, a mouthpiece for the party.

Then he picks Palin because the party wouldn't accept Joe Leiberman or Tom Ridge. The party loves it, the rest of the country goes "WTF?".

Then he suspends campaigning to go to Washington and fix the bailout bill, even though he's not on that committee and none of the other senators want him there. In fact, his presence helps stall the bill. He tries to postpone the debates, including (inexplicably) the Vice-Presidential ~~steamroll~~ ~~smack-down~~ debate. He disses Dave Letterman, then goes on TV with Katie. And visits with Bill Clinton's Global Intiative the next day.

Goodbye, Senator McCain. Enjoy your remaining time in the Senate, your nine houses, thirteen cars, and trophy wife. You've not only let the party sink your chances to be President, you've likely expended all of your political capital in doing so. I don't know how you salvage it at this point, or why you'd want to.

I'm sure some major multi-national corporation will pay you to lobby for them when your term is up.

Stephen King's "N."

2008-09-23T14:05:00.003-05:00

Now this looks cool. I haven't watched the entire thing yet. I'm waiting for some uninterrupted time.
I'm not sure how to describe the look - comic book animation with depth is about the best I can think of. It's really moody and well done, what I've seen so far.

The story "N." is apparently going to be in King's next anthology, "Just After Sunset", and some editions will include a DVD with this video on it.
The video is free on the web at the link.

Palin for President!

2008-09-18T17:42:00.001-05:00

Now that's a Palin I could vote for.

Slander! Outrage!

2008-09-17T08:43:00.001-05:00

From Slashdot:

"Eoin Colfer, the Irish author of a number of books (including the popular children's book series 'Artemis Fowl'), has been directly approached by Douglas Adam's widow, Jane Belson, to write a sixth book to continue the (even more) increasingly inaccurately named Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy trilogy."

Is nothing sacred? Surely they can't need the money that would come from this farce. First it was Gone With The Wind, then The Godfather, then the Wheel of Time series, now this?

The Hitchhiker's books are sacrosanct. Unique works of glee and genius, they can't be duplicated. Anyone who tries is on a fool's errand. Adams unique brand of whimsy and farce is not something that can be "continued".

The man is gone. Let the books stand alone.

In other news, Tad Williams has been asked to write the next book in the "Lord of the Rings" trilogy, and John Irving is reportedly working on "A Christmas Carol: Continued."

Unique 9/11 Remembrance

2008-09-12T09:49:00.001-05:00

I give you a link to a unique remembrance of 9/11, from someone who was in the tower. I make no claims as to it's truthfulness, but it's chock full of little details that lead me to believe it completely. Plus, it's from one of my favorite blogs. So there.

Warning: Graphic descriptions, curse words, and racial epithets abound.

Here's the link.

Damn Nickelodeon!

2008-09-09T08:57:00.001-05:00

Now that they've started re-running Family Matters at night, I get to listen to my five and six-year-olds running around snorting, hee-heeing, and saying "Did I do that?" in a nasal voice.

I'd had enough of that on first run of the series.

Family Matters is proof of the death of the sitcom. Stephan Urk'el? Robotic Steves? Horrible.

Boy, does this bring back memories

2008-08-19T15:56:00.001-05:00

I loved Shazam! growing up. Never forgot when they showed the 'flying' effect on a special: they had Captain Marvel rigged on the front of a moving truck, his upper body hanging over the edge of a board. A little close crop, and Shazam! Instant low-level flying.

And who can forget the great Space : 1999?

See, effects were so bad that we still had to use our imaginations, even though we were watching TV.

I'll spare you the Buck Rogers, Land of the Lost, SpiderMan, and Flash intros.

Best. Cat. Ever.

2008-08-18T17:09:00.001-05:00

Depending on who you ask, this is either Binks, Kitty, Thousand-Dollar Cat, Damn Cat, or Gray Cat. Most of the time to me he's Gray Cat, and he's the best cat ever.

Gray Cat is happy to spend his days alternating between pillow, suitcase, and shoulder attire for the kids. Well, perhaps not happy. Resigned might be a better term. He just goes limp and hangs there, bearing whatever indignity the kids have planned for him today (which has included, but is not limited to: trimmed whiskers, trimmed hair here and there, stuck in a box, a drawer, under the TV, a cupboard... the list goes on).

Gray Cat is deathly afraid of the vacuum. For reasons we don't know the cause of, he disappears in a hurry when someone turns it on. We've got one of those cyclonic things where you watch the dirt spin around, and he's never liked it.

So one day the kids decided that they were going to vacuum Gray Cat. Perhaps it was tough love, an attempt to cure him of his fears. They were pretty sly about it, and waited until only Grandma was watching them. Grandma tries but is no match.

Two of them held down Gray Cat while the third ran the vacuum. Gray Cat got so terrified that he crapped a pretty nice pile there on the carpet in the living room. At this point the kids knew they were in for it and let the cat go. Whoever was holding the vacuum (and I have my suspicions but no proof) took one look at the crap and one look at the implement in their hand, made a cognitive leap, and decided to get rid of the evidence. The vacuum worked faithfully and picked up the poo without a problem.

So when my wife got home there was only a beshitted vacuum (crap all over the see-through portion of the "Cyclonic Chamber") and three looks of blank denial. Fortunately I was not at home to witness the Vesuvian explosion that took place. I was, in fact, out of town. The cell call went something like this:

Me: "Hey dear, what's up?"

Her (very loud): "Kids... damn cat... vacuum... SHIT!"

Me: <hangs up quietly>

When I got home days later none of them would admit the deed, or having seen the cat that day, or that we even owned a cat. I did eventually extract what will likely be the only confession from our three-year old daughter : "I see the poop go 'roun and 'roun, daddy."

Ah! GMail is down!

2008-08-11T17:08:00.001-05:00

What to do? Who to turn to?

GMail has been down for ten minutes or so. I'm not freaking out yet, but it causes me to think about how much I rely on GMail, Google Reader, Google Apps, and other things in the cloud.

These tasty treats are FREE, but the price is no support. No guarantees. Gmail could turn everything off tomorrow and there's not a thing I, or you, could do.

Not that they will. But still, the thought is there, lurking. What if I were waiting on a very important email, one that a consulting job or client depended on? Who to call?

No one.

For a time I thought it would be cool to find I client start-up, say a small law office, that I could put completely in the cloud. Use Salesforce.com or Google apps and have the only supported app locally be a browser and maybe Google Gears. Now I'm not so sure.

Still down.

Blog List Updatery

2008-08-08T14:44:00.001-05:00

So as of right now my Google Reader list stands at 122, which I know is far too many. I check my reader at least daily, and at least skim over each new posts brief update view. That’s a lot of info to take in, but I enjoy being up to date.

Few blogs are going better right now than Bill Martel’s “Sex In A Submarine”, my favorite script writing blog. Not updated often enough, Bill’s posts are a fascinating window into the realm of an actual working script writer making it in the Hollywood movie biz.

Lately he’s been doing a series of “Friday with Hitchcock” posts, where he takes one Hitchcock film per week and dissects it; where it works, where it doesn’t, what is groundbreaking, etc. Bill’s perspective on these films, how they relate to what he does, and how they relate to movies today, is a must for any movie fan and a definite must for Hitchcock fans.

His take on current movies is always interesting as well. His screenwriter’s perspective often gives a slant to a movie that I haven’t thought about before. And some of the insight he gives into film making is fascinating. Who knew that sometimes scripts are written around the availability of locations? Or that sometimes B-Movies come in behind other movies and use the same sets for a completely different movie, and that often these movies didn’t exist until the set became available? Or that producers and directors seem to exist mainly to ruin good scripts and insert stupid ideas – like a sex scene in a submarine war movie.

Bill Martel’s http:\\sex-in-a-sub.blogspot.com : recommended!

From Bad to Worse

2008-08-02T19:54:00.002-05:00

Given : The Economy Stinks.

How bad is it going to get?

From FireDogLake:

Reduced employment, reduced business investment, reduced consumer credit in all its forms.

These things have a cascading effect—they all reduce spending, whether business or individual spending. Each time spending is reduced, another business reaches the red line and goes out of business, or it has to lay off unproductive staff, or it orders less goods from its suppliers who do one of the two. As all those people are laid off they cause a reduction in tax revenues (payroll, property, income) and they start spending a lot less. That leads to businesses being under even more pressure and the logical thing for them to do is to... cut more staff. I'm sure you see where this is going.

It's a self-reinforcing vicious spiral. It is, actually, a huge part of what made the Great Depression as bad as it was. Now, the correct response to this is twofold—you clear the private books, and you maintain demand. As Keynes noted over 70 years ago, what that means is that when private actors can't spend, the government should.

This doesn't mean boondoggles, the Roosevelt administration had almost no fraud, literally magnitudes less than that which takes place routinely these days. It doesn't mean not slashing programs—in fact slashing programs which don't either provide relief or significant demand is very important so that money can be freed up to do other things. And it doesn't necessarily mean running huge deficits, in fact, at least at the Federal level, it is entirely possible to balance the budget with a series of cuts and tax raises on corporations and the rich (it certainly makes little sense to allow oil companies to reap all the benefits of oil prices increases, since they are not caused by management—unless of course, oil executives want to argue that they were responsible in front of Congress? Hmmmm?)

I don’t know about you all, but this scares the bejeebus out of me. You know things are in the tank when not even a government job is safe. Buy inflation-indexed bonds, and stuff your mattresses.

A Letter

2008-07-29T09:58:00.002-05:00

To Judith Claire Mitchell:

I normally don't do this kind of thing.
I mean, I read a lot. I'm a reader, y'know? It's not what I do, it's part of who I am. Non-readers don't get it, never will.
But write letters to authors? I think I wrote Stephen King once, when I was seventeen or so.
So I picked up "Scribner's BEST of the Fiction Workshops 1998" at the library book sale on a whim. Didn't even look at the contents, and frankly thought it was going to be a treasury of how-to and advice for writers. I am glad I was wrong.
I read "A Man of Few Words" on the way in to work, on the bus, today. Just this morning. I started at the bus stop, I finished just before my stop.
I stepped off the bus with tears in my eyes and a hitch in my throat. I couldn't tell the bus driver to "Have a good day". I was afraid I would burst into tears, and that would look completely foolish. She already thinks I'm half baked.
Stories about fathers and sons get me every time, to some degree. Stories of love and loss. But this, this little gem that you crafted, this marvelous little diamond - it's the kind of story that could change things. Change people.
The first sentence grabs, the last sentence elevates. In between is home run after home run. The way Ike views his son's plastic surgery :

"How could he think the face belonged to him only?" : Priceless.

"By the color of fingernails."

My father's nails are crushed and mangled from decades of dirty work. What I tried to say in an entire blog post you said better in five words.

"If Ike had made a mistake, it was not in his failure to shout his love. It was his failure to teach the boy how to say "Boy, oh boy, that sun sure feels good on the back, doesn't it?"

If there is a lesson I long for my kids to learn from my life and example, it is this. Not wealth or power or fame, but small pleasures and simple things will you remember and cherish.

"I want to see her face," Ike says. "I want to see how pretty she looks."

I have never been so blown away so many times within one short little story. As a 41 year-old son and a father of sons and a daughter it spoke to me on so many levels I was literally dizzy.
This book will remain by my bedside on the "re-read" shelves for a long, long time. Even if every other story stinks - - which I doubt - - yours was more than worth the price of admission.
Of course at the library sale it was $.025, but it would have been worth full price had I paid it.
I will remember this story for the rest of my life.
Thank you.

Bookworm Nirvana

2008-07-28T13:39:00.002-05:00

Last weekend marked the Library Book Sale.

(Cue harps, trumpets, and heavenly choir)

The sale is always an exorcize in restraint for me. All children's books $.25! Adult Hardbacks $1.00! Paperbacks $.25!

It staggers the imagination.

I purposely go in with $10 or less. The key here is to take a big sack or box and pick up everything you even think you might want on the first pass. The room is crammed with people and if you don't grab it someone else will. These are not all library cast-offs. In fact the majority of the books are donated by patrons to be auctioned. There were many books by King, Grisham, Clancy, most of the popular authors. Surprisingly there was NO Tolkien to be found, and no Koontz that I saw either.

For the record, I apologize for moving all of the Scientology books from "Religion" to "Fiction". I do, however, reserve the right to do it again.

I worked the tables slowly, not wanting to miss anything. The Children's section was a little light this year. Science fiction had lots of good stuff, most donated and in good condition.

My haul this sale:

"All Too Human," George Stephanopoulos

Already finished this and it's a fascinating look inside the scheming, plotting, deal-making and promise breaking that was the Clinton White House. A great read for a political junkie like myself, and it gave me a new found respect for both the author AND Clinton. This is not whitewash. Clinton is portrayed warts and all. But if this book is to be believed then his motives and goals in running the country were pure and sincere, and did not involve increased chances at getting laid. That we know of.

Handy As I Wanna Be: A Novel With Tools (Hardcover), Vince Rause

Finished this one too. Meh.
Part handy guide, part fictional view into the life of a man obsessed with his "handyman" habit. It's a nice try but doesn't hit the mark. If you want something like this go find John Marchese's "Renovations", a much better book which I'll have to re-read and blog about someday.

Robinson Crusoe, Leatherbound edition. (SCORE!)

Misc. books on writing and short story collections.

What appears to be the entire "Novels on the Change" series by S.M. Stirling, in amazing condition. I didn't even know this series existed before seeing it here.

Includes "Dies the Fire", "The Protector's War", "A Meeting at Corvalis", all in hardback, $3.00. Score of the day.

Last, I scored a paperback copy of "Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell: A Novel", Susanna Clarke for the above mentioned $.25, a bargain in anyone's book. This is perhaps the book I'm most looking forward to and most dreading at the same time. Widely hailed and awarded, I've seen mixed reviews among the regular folk. We'll see how it fares.

Not sure why I like this…

2008-07-25T13:52:00.001-05:00

But it’s stop motion animation with GI Joe figures, and it essentially re-enacts John Carpenter’s The Thing, so that’s enough for me. The Thing may be my all time favorite scary / alien / sci-fi movie. If they could have snuck the “Big Jim” figure in there somewhere, it would be nirvana.

Riding the RAGBRAI

2008-07-25T09:10:00.001-05:00

If you’ve ever wanted to ride the RAGBRAI, here’s a blog from a pretty regular guy that’s sloughing it out. Not one of those skinny twenty-somethings you see zip by on their carbon-framed wonders, but a regular Joe struggling to make each day. His slightly twisted sense of humor makes the read especially worthwhile.

You may know Ray as the purveyor of another fine Internet establishment. Not that I’ve ever been there or anything.

Keeping up with his blog has almost made me feel like I was there. Well, that and pictures like this from his iPhone:

I say good for him, and I wish I was there.

What? Don’t know what RAGBRAI is?

Funniest YouTube video ever.

2008-07-21T14:13:00.001-05:00

My wife thinks I’m nuts. Most of my kids like it, but one thinks it’s stupid. All I know for sure is that the first three times I watched it I laughed so hard I cried.

Of course, followers of this site will be well aware of my love of all things Muppet – related and will fully understand.

As an aside, I just had to add the words “Muppet” and “YouTube” to my Windows Live Writer dictionary. C’mon! That ain’t right.

Wall-E

2008-07-08T20:39:00.002-05:00

Let's make this simple.
Wall-E is brilliant. If you haven't seen it, stop reading this and go. Now.

Wall-E reminds us that there are two great important things : life and love. Yes, it's a story about robots, but as is typical with Pixar the larger themes shine through without beating us over the head.
It is Keaton-esque in it's nearly silent comedy.
This is a classic. It's the kind of movie that Disney wishes it was making. Pixar is truly at the top of their game.
The kids will sit still through it. Trust me. Get thee to the biggest movie screen in your area. Now.

Rockets and Reminiscence

2008-06-30T11:33:00.001-05:00

Leading up to Saturday we were watching the weather forecasts closely. This year's GARLO event was Saturday and we missed it last year and I wanted to make sure we were there this year.

We were big rocketeers when I was growing up. We lived close enough to enough wide - open spaces that we could walk over and launch anytime, which for a period of five years or so is what we did. We'd save up or pool money for engines and igniters and recovery wadding and head out to the field with whatever collection of rockets we hadn't lost yet. We flew A-engine through D-engine rockets, two stagers and three stagers. We duct taped rocket engines to model cars ( didn't work so well), sent action figures and eggs into orbit and had contests over duration and landing zones and anything else we could think of. We flew Estes rockets because that's what the local hobby shop had. It was years before I knew that anything else existed.

We'd get a rocket kit and be so anxious to fly it that paint was an unneeded extravagance. Paint was reserved for rockets that had survived a first launch and recovery. Often the glue could have used a bit more drying time as well. I recall my Starship Enterprise coming apart on landing, largely due to a lack of drying time.

Another memorable launch was the three stage Comanche rocket. This was one of the last rockets I remember building. I took much more care and patience with this kit. It cost more, as I recall, and with three stages that meant paying for three motors for each flight. I had each stage perfectly mated with the stage above, each fin perfectly sanded and filleted - it was a thing of beauty. Only on close inspection could you tell that it was three stages.

As per tradition it was as yet unpainted. The day for the first launch was glorious (in my memory, anyway, all of those summer days are) and I of course chose the largest, most powerful motor for each stage. There was a slight northerly wind so I tilted the launch just a degree or two off vertical. The rocket flew straight and true, the first stage popped and the second kicked in. It picked up speed and altitude and the second stage popped. I got caught watching the second stage tumble down, trying to mark it's location for recovery. When I looked back up the top stage of the rocket was out of sight. I heard the parachute charge pop, but never saw the parachute. I never saw the rocket again. I assume it landed somewhere in the woods, far to the north, after reaching about 1200 ft or so.

So on Saturday I was really looking forward to taking the boys out and watching the rockets fly. I haven't launched a rocket in something like ten years. The older boys were interested, but never really patient enough to complete a kit.

Once we circled around Dodd's Park and found the launch site we were able to park close enough to see everything from the van. Daughter was interested for about three or four launches, but then the grass and the flowers were calling. The boys, however, were enthralled. They wanted to look at every rocket lined up waiting for launch, they wanted to sit closer to the launch pads. Number Four son wanted to know exactly how they worked : from engine to wadding to parachute. When one particularly gnarly F-motor launched, Number Five son could be heard above the roar of the motor exclaiming "Wow! Did you see that? Fire came out of it! Did you see that?"

They watched each rocket from launch to recovery, and were particularly interested in R2-D2's short but successful flight. We kept saying "one more rack, we'll stay for one more round of launches and then we have to go", and someone would bring up another gloriously large rocket for the next round and we'd have to stay to see that one.

These rocketeers were good, bordering on professional. Most flights were straight and true. There were the requisite separations (nose cone disconnects from tube body on parachute deployment) and the more spectacular complete failure of the ejection charge or "prang" (rocket dives into the ground twenty feet from spectators). There were some young kids flying kit rockets that day as well, so anyone was welcome. Everyone was great, letting the kids gaze and even finger some of their rockets. There was a vendor on hand selling kits and parts (selling at least one parachute to a youngster that had forgotten to put in his recovery wadding). He didn't have any beginner or starter kits, however, so I tried to steer the boys clear of him lest they get there eye on a rocket Dad didn't want to pony up for.

Of course I had ulterior motives this day. I wanted to expose the kids to an activity that they could enjoy, and hopefully learn to love and use to branch off into other interests like space exploration or astronomy.

Wife is no fool. She asked if my Rocket Box was still out in the garage, and if I would be restocking it now. I had to correct her and say it was a "Range Box", and that it had been re-purposed as a tackle box years ago. So I'll have to get a NEW range box, and stock it up with spare recovery wadding and parachutes and engines and swivels and igniters. Right after I build that launch controller I've always wanted to make. The stock ones are just not geeky enough (or beefy enough) for me anymore.

I also need to let enough time pass so that the memory of those giant F-motor rockets has faded from memory, so that when the boys press the launch button on their first A-motor rocket they'll be just as enthralled as I was.

The Central Illinois Aerospace club holds launches twice monthly, weather permitting. They also do demonstrations and workshops on various aspects and hobby rocketry. Newbies and spectators are welcome at all events.

Clarinet Players Beware

2008-06-21T08:58:00.003-05:00

You've been replaced by machines. The robot player below one a competition, but it clearly has issues. Like most players, it is more comfortable in the lower registers and has a tendency to squeek a bit in the upper range. I'd have been more impressed if they'd worked out the air pressure / embouchure issues over getting it to press the keys really fast.

It never gets easier

2008-06-19T16:05:00.004-05:00

You would think that the older you get the more you get used to friends your age passing away.

Not so much.

I heard today that my good friend George Cherry passed away. I haven't seen George in years, but the news hit me like a punch to the gut. I was lucky enough to work side by side with George for about two and a half years teaching color guard. They were without a doubt my best years in the activity. George's creativity, enthusiasm and rapport with the kids was something to behold. From the moment he arrived he elevated everyone to a different level - and challenged me to do the same.

George was passionate about the activity and he "got it" : the pursuit of excellence, the push to drive kids to reach for things just beyond their grasp and then reach a little more. His joy for life and boundless energy was an epidemic that ran rampant through our organization while we were privileged to have him with us. The guard was never better.

George touched countless lives - here in our backwater little town, as a founding staff member of Jersey Surf, as a performer and a person. I'd lost touch with George over the last several years, but I'd always here from someone who'd heard from someone about how he was doing. Even though I hadn't seen him in forever I thought of him often - of his passion for excellence, his love of the activity, and just his approach to life every day. Even when he was privately down about something, when the kids came around the game face was on and he was ready to go.

I've yet to work with a better motivator and educator in the color guard world. The kids all loved George, even when he was telling them like it was. George had a profound effect on my career in the color guard world, coming along just at the right time to give me new enthusiasm and challenge and push. His love of the activity and the kids was unequaled.

One of my favorite George memories is seeing The Pride of Cincinnati's "First Circle" show for the first time at a regional performance in Ohio. Before they finished I leapt to my feet, tears streaming down my face because it was so damn _good_ and _right_ and I had taught kids in that show early in their careers. I looked over at George, who was a couple of seats down, and caught him looking at me with the same tears on his face. We both burst out laughing, tearing up and clapping, caught up in the joy of the moment.

And that was George - caught up in the joy of the moment.

He touched hundreds, if not thousands of lives, and will missed by many and forgotten by none.

For a time he was "my best good friend" and I will cherish his memory forever.

Update: Obituray info here from Jersey Surf

Chasing Rainbows

2008-06-02T12:19:00.003-05:00

Last night as we drove up to evening church service there was a rainbow arcing over the church. It was quite brilliant and visible for about two thirds of the way up. My thought process went something like this:

Wow, look at that. Light from the sun is hitting that falling rain at the precise angle to refract it into the visible spectrum, reflect it off the back of the drop of water, and refract it again on the way to me eyeball. Cool. If I was in an airplane I might see a rain-ring, which is something I've always wanted to see.

Then I turned to my wife, who had tears in her eyes.

"That's God's promise," she said.

Years ago, when we knew only that she likely had cancer and not much else, we returned from a trip to Champaign that featured a day filled with poking and probing and the drawing of blood and testing. We were uptight, scared and unsure. We sought comfort from our pastor and his wife. Somewhere along the line my wife and the pastor's wife saw a rainbow. The pastor's wife said something like this:

See that? That's God's Promise. In the bible it tells us that God made rainbows to remind us of his promise never to flood the earth again. I see it and am reminded that God is still in control, that he still has a plan, and he's still watching over me.

My wife hadn't forgotten that, since she's the one that had the cancer. I hadn't forgotten it either, but then it didn't mean as much to me. It meant a lot in that it helped her deal with what was going on, and still helps her deal with things today.

I want to say that she got more out of the experience than I did, but further thought revealed that we were both missing something in the process. By ignoring the spiritual, I was limiting the impact of a simple rainbow on my psyche that day. And by ignoring the scientific, my wife missed a chance to appreciate the fundamental laws of physics and nature in action. Who missed more? For me, it is hard to say. But I'm certain my wife would say that i was missing the point entirely.

StayCation

2008-05-29T16:15:00.001-05:00

With the price of gas soaring, someone coined the term staycation to indicate time taken off from work without actually going anywhere. What's the news? I've been staycating for years. What they're really doing is trying to make us all feel a little better about the fact that we can't afford to drive anymore.

Driving is becoming a significant activity, requiring forethought and budgeting. We used to pile in the van and tear off somewhere on no notice, driving an hour or two each way without thought to reach some destination. Now we have to really think about whether or not it's worth it to drive to Hoopeston or Champaign to see a movie like we used to.

Leisure driving is now an activity for the rich and well - off. Back in the day we'd all pool together the change we had in our packets and end up with enough for a night of cruising the streets. Those days are long gone and never coming back. My guess is that we'll see alternative fuels in wide distribution before we see $3.00 a gallon gas again.

The Phoenix has landed

2008-05-26T19:03:00.001-05:00

I admit freely to being glued to the Nasa Channel (on the internet - no Nasa on Comcast last night) as the Phoenix landed and started to send back pictures from the surface of Mars. I cheered along with Mission Control when "Touchdown" was announced, cheered again when the first pictures cam back. What an amazing achievement.

I think America has a kind of "been there, done that" attitude towards space travel. I'm guessing the majority of people have no idea how much Nasa research contributes back to society. I used to know a figure that was the return on every dollar we funded Nasa with. Wikipedia says an investment in the Apollo program earns 33%. Not bad for government work.

The space program needs America to get excited again. Does this mean manned missions? Discovery of Life? I don't know. A nice start would be for Congress to stop cutting funding. The Nasa budget is less than 2% of the total budget, and it pales in comparison to the war in Iraq. They can continue by retiring the shuttle fleet. It's served it's purpose, and it is time to move on to a real 'space truck', something that is completely reusable and doesn't need to be completely rebuilt after every launch.

I subscribe to many, many blogs in my Google Reader. Okay, 122 to be exact. Many of them are blogs by and for Fiction writers, most of those being Science Fiction. Very little mention of the landing across the Blogsphere. There was some mention in Slashdot and IO9 and Wired, but little else. Where's the excitement? We just did the equivalent of throwing a pebble from California to New York, landed it in a basketball hoop in the exact location where we meant it to land, and had it send back pictures. That's amazing! That's awesome! Let's shout it to the world!

Fifty percent of Mars missions and in disaster. We slam dunk another one, and the world gives us a big ho-hum.

20 Essential Movies for Kids

2008-05-20T00:29:00.003-05:00

Over at EW they've listed 21 essential movies for kids. I can't tell you how glad I am to see "The Iron Giant" in the list. It is one of my all time favorite movies. Not "Animated" movies, but movies period. It is undoubtedly one of the best American made animated movies ever made, and is high on my list of favorite movies. It's one of the movies you can pull off of the shelf anytime and get involved in all over again.
There are only three directors with more than one movie on the list: Brad Bird (Iron Giant, The Incredibles), Rob Reiner (The Princess Bride, Stand by Me) and Peter Jackson (The Lord of the Rings I-III). Not bad company for Mr. Bird to find himself in.
With a stellar cast the includes Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick Jr., Vin Diesel, James Gammon, Cloris Leachman, Christopher McDonald, and John Mahoney I don't understand how the movie wasn't an instant classic in the theatres. Somehow it came and went and was never really appreciated as much as I thought it should be.
If you've never seen the Iron Giant, get thee to the video store post haste. You won't be sorry.
And if you have children that haven't seen it, for shame. The Iron Giant teaches us essential lessons about life and death, love and loss. war and peace. It's timeless and priceless.

Hillary - The Next Supreme?

2008-05-15T19:12:00.001-05:00

Yikes! Right-wingers everywhere are wailing and gnashing their teeth, donning sackcloth and ashes.

From the great FireDogLake:

Why is Hillary still in the race? According to Robert Reich, former Secretary of Labor (and Obama supporter):

She wants the best possible deal she can strike with Obama. She wants Obama to agree to pay her campaign debts, to seat the Michigan and Florida delegations (so she can claim a moral victory), and – the quietest deal of all – a personal commitment from him to appoint her to the Supreme Court when the next vacancy occurs. (h/t Jim M.)

I'm not too sure even I like that idea, and I'm all for pushing the court just a bit back towards the center.

And just as an aside, despite my post earlier in the year, I'm all about Obama '08. Yes We Can!

Little Jonnie Cougar

2008-05-10T17:10:00.001-05:00

Years and years ago, a young unknown by the name of John Cougar came touring through my scenic hometown, playing our gargantuan 6,000 seat arena. I was in the audience.

He's grown a little since then. Physically, artistically. I think he's my generation's Bob Dylan. (Of course, there are those that argue with me that Bob Dylan can be my generation's Bob Dylan, but they're wrong. The tunes that define your teenage years stay with you forever, and for me that was John Cougar).

Many of his videos are out there on the Internets for the viewing. Here's one of my favorites.

It can't be far off...

2008-05-07T15:31:00.001-05:00

They've invented the Flux Capacitor.

Ok, so they call it a Memristor, but read what it does:

The memristor is formally defined as a two-terminal element in which the magnetic flux Φ_m between the terminals is a function of the amount of electric charge q that has passed through the device. Each memristor is characterized by its memristance function describing the charge-dependent rate of change of flux with charge.

That, to me, is a flux capacitor. And others think so as well.

Flying Deloreans and Mr. Fusions can't be far behind.

Geek Flowchart

2008-05-06T10:32:00.002-05:00

I knew it all started with D&D. If I had seen this at the age of thirteen, who knows where I'd be today?

The chart is sadly accurate. About the only thing missing is the entire BBS era. And there should be a progression of modem speeds in there, from 300 baud pulse to 56k.

Click the picture for more detail.

The Empire Strikes Barack

2008-05-04T23:15:00.001-05:00

In this long Democratic Primary this is perhaps the funniest thing I've seen, all the more so because so much of it rings true.

Man-Pri

2008-04-28T18:34:00.001-05:00

I have seen my first set of Man-Pris, and it was not pretty. They are not pretty.

Be a man, go get some baggy shorts. Spare me the metro-sexual man-pri attire.

Lessons Learned from my Daughter

2008-04-26T17:09:00.002-05:00

Today Daddy and daughter got to spend a little time without the hooligans (boys) and run some errands. Lessons learned:

Anyplace worth walking to is worth RUNNING to.
Dandelions are flowers, too, and therefor are not to be killed.
Curbs are for jumping from.
You can play hide and seek anywhere.
Boys are loud. Particularly brothers.
Car seats suck.

Brilliant

2008-04-26T11:38:00.002-05:00

There's really no other word for this. Shows you why Sid Ceasar is remembered as a genius.

And this is something you'd never see on TV today. They'd never let it go on as long as it does. Combine that with the fact that it is live TV, no edits or retakes, and you've got a masterpeice of comedy. Watch it through to the end.

We're off to see the Wizard

2008-04-23T15:14:00.002-05:00

Ok, we already went to see the wizard. Several months ago I piled the entire family into Old Blue and made the trek across the frozen tundra of East-Central Illinois to the Virginia Theater in Champaign. We were surprising the kids with a trip to see The Wizard Of Oz on the big screen.

Or so we thought. We were there on the wrong day.

The kids didn't care so much. They've seen it a hundred times or so. They enjoyed McDonald's playland as usual. But I was disappointed. Movies are meant to be seen on the big screen with other people in the audience while eating popcorn flavored with a light yellow grease that vaguely resembles butter.

I did not enjoy the McDonald's playland.

Lucky for me six months later The Virginia was again showing the classic movie. We piled everyone into Old Blue one more time and this time arrived on the correct day, even at the correct time.

The Virginia is a brilliant old theatre. In need of some restoration work, it is largely serviceable and comfortable. It still has the old chairs (without cupholders!). The art-deco trimmings are all there and wonderful, and once the place is restored I'm sure they'll be glorious.

The movie opened to general applause. I was immediately struck by the crispness of the print. I've only ever seen the videotape / tv version (we haven't purchased the new restored DVD yet) and this was much sharper and clearer.

There was more applause when the film switches to color in Munchkindland. It really was a bit breathtaking on the big screen when Dorothy opens the door and the Technicolor (tm) comes flooding in.

The added clarity of the print allowed me to see several things I've never noticed before. In the version I've seen, the scarecrow's face looks to be a uniform brown, even in closeups. On the big screen it's clear that the makeup is somehow made to look like burlap in patches across the face. It's a really striking effect.

In the scene where they meet the Tin Man for the first time, you can clearly see the exotic birds around the set, On the tv screen they are blurry lumps at best, which led to other rumors about what they might have been

When the lion sings his "King of the Forest" song, you can clearly see the fishing line being used to swish his tail around.

When the Tin Man comes out of the 'cleaning' seen (scrub scrub here, scrub scrub there...) he is not merely clean but gleaming. It's clear they even lightened the makeup for those scenes immediately after.

The wicked which is not only a delightfully mottled green, but she has a lovely wart on her chin which we can see the hairs poking out of. That was my favorite thing, I think, those hairs sticking straight out. It showed to me an attention to detail that has likely rarely been noticed.

Almost needless to say, the kids loved the movie. The fine staff at the Virginia kept things interesting during the half-hour wait for the show to start by giving away a slew of prizes that were kid - friendly. They sat rapt for most of the movie (one bathroom break, I think) even though they've seen it multiple times each. Number Four Son, who is destined for the entertainment business in some form, sat rapt through the entire thing. I'm not sure he moved until the Wicked Witch finally bought it, when everyone in the theatre applauded.

It was just a great family time, well worth the $5.00 each and the gas to Champaign. If you get a chance to see something in the Virginia, don't pass it up. My next goal is to see something when they unroll the full 50ft of their Cinemascope screen, one of the few downstate.

Lawrence of Arabia, anyone?

UnPlug

2008-04-08T00:14:00.001-05:00

After my trip to the various stores that make up Budget Bikes, I ended up at Chin's Asia Fresh, one of my favorite Chinese places around the office here in Madison. Their Hot & Sour soup is different than what I'm used to, and I much prefer the soup at Daisy's (Green Island). The rest of the meal is great.

So I'm enjoying my meal (chicken vegetable stir fry, hunan style) when a father comes in with his daughter and son. The daughter was in her early teens, the son ten or eleven. Give or take.

They both immediately sat down. She put on her headphones and plugged them into her iPod. He pulled out his Sony PSP and started gaming. Neither of them said a word to each other, or to their father, for the entire time they were there. The boy occasionally spoke to his PSP, the girl sometimes hummed along with her iPod.

The father never blinked. Tapped his son on the shoulder as he walked out with the take out. Son never looked up.

Recently a co-worker grounded her son from his cell phone. Seems he sent and received over 12,000 text messages last month. You do the math. She said she may just keep it away a while longer, because they actually communicate with each other when the kid doesn't have the cell phone stuck in his face all day.

What are we doing here? Cell phones and iPods and mobile internet and mobile email and chat and myspace and facebook and forums and... you get the idea. We're in danger of raising a bunch of kids that have forgotten how to communicate face to face, that are losing the art of conversation.

It's time for parents to declare electronics - free weekends, internet free zones. Declare the dinner table off limits to anything that plugs in or runs on batteries, wether that table is in the home or out. And FORCE them to eat dinner at home. At least once a week. Make the time. What do you have to do that is more important?

Declare an electricity free day. Every other Sunday, or one day a month. No TV, no electronic games, no iPod, no cell phone. Nothing. Sit down with your kids and talk, or play Monopoly, or Life, or a card game. Some of my fondest memories are of sitting around the table with the extended family playing that game with marbles on a board that I can't remember the name of. Aggrevation? Something like that. My mom would delight in sending me back to the start. I'd get to listen to adult talk, interact with adults. Have a conversation.

Unplug your kids. Unplug yourself. Get back in touch.

Budget Bikes

2008-04-07T21:20:00.001-05:00

I know, it sounds like a low-rent bike shop, something you'd find in a back alley off of a dark street.

In reality Budget Bikes is one of the largest stores in the nation, and it claims that it's used store is the largest. It encompasses five buildings over three blocks, with a building devoted to used bikes, one to new mountain bikes, one to new road and recumbent bikes, one to accessories and repair, etc. It's certainly bike nirvana if you ride at all, and should not be missed if you're running through Madison.

I took some shots of the used store and the mountain bike store. You cannot appreciate the vast number and variety of bikes from a photograph, but you get an idea.

In all of the stores, there are as many bikes hanging from the ceiling as there are on the floor. Bikes range in prices from FREE (ugly red bikes) to the thousands. I saw my first all-carbon Giant and it was the most beautiful bike I've ever seen. Also the lightest.

The mountain bike store.

I was mainly looking to ride a recumbent, but the selection didn't suit me. They had a few really nice trikes, and a variety of recumbents, but not what I'm looking for.

Looks like my plans to build my own long wheelbase, underseat steer, low rider recumbent this summer. If I actually do it I'll post pics of the process.

Geni

2008-04-02T14:43:00.001-05:00

No, not as in "I Dream of...". Geni is a web site that allows you to create your family tree online.

Well, that's too simple.

Geni is a social networking site that allows you to create your family tree online, inviting family members along the way to help fill in the blanks. You can upload pictures, have your own forums, etc. In short, Geni is what I've been looking for over the last five years.

I come from a small family, just having one sibling. But my Grandma (on mom's side) had twelve kids. And I have an aunt that had that many. So there is no way I could keep track of all of the kids and marriages and grandkids and divorces. Now I don't have to. I can invite in Cousin Danny and he can take care of filling in the sections of the family tree that he is aware of. And he can invite relatives in. And so on.

I'm hooked. I'm hoping this thing helps me get a family reunion together. Back when Grandma was alive, we would at least get together every couple of years for her birthday. Since she died we haven't all gotten together at all. Granted, that may say more about family dynamics than it does anything else, but that's another story. I'm just tired of only seeing relatives only at funerals and wakes.

Built with Ajax, the tree is rendered in 'real time', and you can associate pictures with people in the tree. Adding a relative is as simple as clicking on the arrow for the direction in which they are related: up, down, or sidewise. Very simple and extremely intuitive. I have yet to find a relative I could not define. For instance, it handles the whole 'married once - had one kid married again had some more' issue with ease. And you can even define 'partners' and 'ex-partners' for when the whole "kid" thing happened without the cumbersome marriage part.

For anyone trying to get their family tree together, I wholeheartedly recommend Geni.

Old Man's War

2008-03-28T17:22:00.001-05:00

I've been reading John Scalzi's blog (The Whatever) for what seems like years. I originally found it in a link to his post "Being Poor", which I think is just brilliant but some argue should be labeled "Bring Poor in America". I'll concede that point : it's still brilliant.

For reasons I never quite figured out for myself, I never read any of Scalzi's fiction. I got a start on his "Agent to the Stars" in electronic form, but didn't finish it. Either the format or time constraints caused me to put it down. I never "sought out" his other work, either at the library nor BookMooch (still love the BookMooch) or in the store. Again, no specific reason why, just never did.

Recently Tor started to release some of it's catalogue in electronic form, for free. I've been grabbing them as they come out, but had not read any. Old Man's War was the first one released. Finally, a couple of days ago I pulled it up. It wasn't my intent to read the entire thing, just to get a feel for the thing and an insight into what it is.

A read it in two sittings.

OWM postulates a future where at the age of seventy-five you can enter the Colonial Defense Forces, the Earth's defense against galactic bad guys. The CDF has tricks up it's collective sleeve to make John Perry ready for battle when he signs up. After the death of his wife he signs up and heads off to defend the earth and it's colonies.

Sounds like an old - fashioned space opera? It nearly is. It reads like early Heinlein, and reminds me why I started reading SF in the first place. It's fun in a way that I think much of SF has forgotten how to be, and never takes itself too seriously. At the same time the characters are very real and develop throughout the book, never losing their humanity (even as they become less human) and never ignoring the ethical dilemmas surrounding their unique experiences.

Scalzi keeps the new ideas (and the plausible science behind them) coming at a steady clip. There was only one time I felt that I was reading the dreaded "Insert Convenient Character for Scientific Illumination Here" chapter, but he hung around for the rest of the book, so that was OK.

When you pick up this book you better have some clear time in your schedule, because you're going to need it. Recommended.

A Grand Master is gone

2008-03-19T10:13:00.001-05:00

Arthur C. Clark has died.

2001.

Rama.

Childhood's End

The Fountains of Paradise

I could go on, and on. Clarke is the writer who really expanded my horizons, who made me think big impossible things. Who made me understand, finally, that we are living on this tiny little ball in a backwater section of the galaxy in a small corner of a vast universe. He realized the importance of satellites in communication before there were satellites.

There is apparently one more Clark book forthcoming, a collaboration between him and Fred Pohl. What a gift.

Ad Astra, dear sir.

Two from the King

2008-03-08T23:25:00.002-06:00

I freely admit that I avoided Blaze when it came out in hardcover. I knew it was a revised and updated "trunk" novel from pre-publicity, and I think King has talked about it before in one of his earlier works (On Writing or something). So I just wasn't enthused about something he wrote 30 + years ago that he didn't think was publishable then. I thought I'd catch it at the library, or wait for the paperback. Or both.

Well, my boss, knowing me to be a pretty big King fan, gave the paperback to me after he finished it. And I was wrong, OK? Blaze isn't a bad book, and it's well worth reading. I wouldn't put it near the top of any list of King's work, but it mostly held my attention and was interesting.

Clayton Blaidsell is our main character, and he's a big boy who's a few cards short of a full deck. He finds it easiest to make money by being 'muscle' for the bad guys. Then his partner is killed and he's left on his own, deciding to pull of the last big job; a kidnapping.

Blaze is mostly the story of the kidnapping, the aftermath, and the chase. We learn about Blaze in a series of flashbacks that are frankly often more interesting than the 'main' story.

This is typical of early King works, where we know early on what is going to happen and the suspense comes in the waiting until it does. Only here the suspense never really comes, we're just along for the ride. It's a good ride, but not a great one.

So it was with much trepidation that I picked up "Duma Key" in hardback. I knew it was a different King story. Not set in Maine, not about an author, not a Dark Tower book. Something new. I had read the short story "Memory" that was at the end of Blaze and was intrigued to see how it would play out.

I don't really have words to describe how profoundly this book affected me. Duma is not merely a great King story, it is a great novel period. It's the kind of thing that makes me glad I stuck with him through the "Tommyknockers" phase. It's just an excellent, excellent read.

It's the story of Edgar Freemantle, a self-made man in the construction industry. He loses his arm and nearly his life in an accident, then proceeds to lose his wife and perhaps his mind. As therapy he picks up and moves to Duma Key, a small isolated island off the coast of Florida. And he paints, meets some local residents, and paints some more.

And that's all I'm willing to say. The plot is amazing and surprising. We don't know where this story is going and it's delightful. There are things that happen that I had no idea would happen, delightful things that are both wondrous and scary. The Florida setting is evocative and well realized.

Plainly put this is just great, great book and you are doing yourself a disservice if you miss it. If you've never read King this is a great place to start.

At last, System Center Service Manager Info

2008-02-12T23:54:00.001-06:00

Delayed even more than I thought, timelines are finally out for Service Manager.

System Center Team Blog Post Here

With beta in late 2008 and projected RTM of 2010, this had better be as fully baked as I hope it will be when it releases. I'm no longer certain we can wait, but hopefully we'll be able to stay in the TAP.

I hope everyone doesn't see this as a complete negative for this product. It should be far better for the wait. The initial effort had plenty of potential, and for them to blow it up and go back to square one was just a staggering commitment. I can't wait to see how it turns out.

Finally, a use for that System Center scarf.

2008-02-03T16:58:00.001-06:00

At the end of the System Center Service Manager TAP airlift (then called Service Desk), the swag came out in the form of scarves. Scarves? We were all waiting on a cool SCSD polo shirt or something. But a scarf?

There were some leftover at the end of the day, so I grabbed two. Just because. I finally found a use for the second one.

I'm still trying to figure out how Omar got everyone's certificate on the correct chair with no nametags or placemarkers. There's no way I could memorize that many names and faces in that short a span.

Ten Things I've done that you haven't

2008-01-15T11:24:00.001-06:00

With thanks to John Scalzi's challenge. This was an intriguing exercise.

1. Fathered six children. With the same woman. That I'm still married to. Over a twenty years span.

2. Played big band jazz in a hundred year old theatre.

3. Ran over a skunk. On a motorcycle. (I was on the motorcycle, not the skunk). That bike still smelled faintly of skunk when I sold it two years later: he baked into the exhaust.

4. Early online pedophile stalkerage: was propositioned by a transvestite on The Well at the age of 15 or so.

5. Owned a 1978 Ford Mustang King Cobra v8. It was a piece of crap, but a relatively rare piece of crap.

6. Cooked hot dogs by essentially plugging them into a standard outlet.

7. Nearly blown up a house while experimenting with making my own hydrogen. (A garbage bag full of hydrogen makes a BIG fireball.)

8. Had the brand XYLINX burned into the back of my hand while testing FPGA's for heat issues. It stayed for about three months.

9. Pitched the championship game for my "B" league team. (OK, I'm stretching now).

10. Got a signed rejection from George Scithers at the age of twelve. Thought my crap didn't stink: still haven't published.

The Traveler

2008-01-08T20:21:00.001-06:00

I just finished "The Traveler" by John Twelve Hawks. To be honest I'd heard nothing of this book or the author before buying it. I ran across it at The Frugal Muse and it looked interesting.
Apparently the internets are rife with speculation about who John Twelve Hawks might be. The book tells us that he lives "off the grid", and not much else. Some say it's Dan Brown writing for the YA market.
I'm not sure who the author is and don't really care. It's mediocre at best.
It details an omnipresent corporation that has fingers into every database, every public surveillance camera, every system. Big Brother is most certainly watching you. There are folks called Travelers that can cross over into other "realms", and folks called "Harlequins" that protect them. And of course, the bad guys are out to kill or control the travelers.
It's not a bad book, by any stretch. It kept the pages turning, and most of the action was well-paced and believable. It just didn't have a character I could bring myself to give a rip about.
I won't seek out the next book in what will be a four book series, but I won't turn it down if I see it for $3.95, the price I picked up this one for a The Frugal Muse.

I'm ordering one today....

2008-01-01T00:03:00.000-06:00

Email Woes

2007-12-13T19:42:00.001-06:00

Today was the day I set aside to study for the SCCM beta exam. Granted, I'd been reading off and on, playing in the lab. But today was the day to blow up the lab and rebuild everything with the RTM version and really dig and try different things.

Until.

One user can't send an email to a domain. The ticket gets escalated to me. I do the usual : MXToolbox, etc. We just came off of several blacklists due to some rocket scientist setting up a virus-infected client pc on our network that proceeded to send thousands of SPAM emails out. Yes, port 25 should have been blocked to not allow that traffic, but that was a decision by committee.

Further testing shows an email sent to any address on their domain bounces back almost immediately with that wonderfully useful 550 error.

So I start checking the blacklists again, and it appears that we're all in the clear.

I sent an email from an external account, and a reply came back about half an hour later. So their mail server is actually working.

I immediately decide to blame Postini, but the domain is not on any firmwide blacklists.

Finally I began to wonder if the email was ever even making it out of our environment. The bounceback usually arrived after less then 10 seconds, and that just seemed odd. So I collared out WAN guru and had him sniff the external interface for traffic on port 25 to Postini containing the offending domain... nothing. Specific strings in an email to the domain... nothing.

I set up a second SMTP connector to route email without going through Postini for email to that domain... still no dice. Messages just sit in the queue.

Now this is too weird.

I connect to their email server via good old telnet <servername.domain.com> 25 and get a happy SMTP response. I figured I'd send an email manually to the administrator, who by this time I'd spoken with to confirm that we weren't blacklisted on their end. I'd just let him know that I got this far in testing.

So I type : "EHLO mydomain.com" and get an error response.

That can't be right. There must have been a control character in there. So I type it again. Same error. I check to make sure my syntax is correct, and it is.

Then I try "HELO domain.com" and it works. Like a champ. I send the email. A quick check of our Exchange server shows, sure enough, that it is configured to send "EHLO" and not "HELO". In all the years we've been on Exchange, this is the first time I've run into another server that refuses "EHLO".

I telnet back in and explain the issue in another 'manual' email session. I'm not sure what this admin will respond with, but I'm not inclined to change our config for one domain.

Yes, we could set up a second SMTP connector to route email to that domain that IS configured to send "HELO". But at this point it's the principal of the thing.

We'll see how they respond.

Dumbest idea ever, redux:

2007-12-06T15:03:00.001-06:00

John Scalzi finally got around to visiting the Creation Museum, which I blogged about briefly awhile back.

His post on his visit is priceless, and indicative of why he is a published SF writer and I am not. I could never describe a pile of horseshit so perfectly.

Read his post here. And skip not the comments thread. It's nearly as good as the post.

If you read Science Fiction and do not read Scalzi's blog, what are you thinking? Get thee to the RSS reader!

Obvious caveat: If you are a creationist young-earther, this probably ain't for you.

Thanksgiving

2007-11-23T00:21:00.001-06:00

Things I am thankful for today:

My wife.

My kids.

A roof over my head (even if it is rented, and even if it is the worst house in a mediocre neighborhood).

Sassafras trees.

Autumn.

Trees in general.

Flat land and tall corn: the scenes of home.

The Discovery Channel.

Videotape.

Pictures, both digital and chemical.

The capacity to love.

Living in America, in the time that I do.

Call Maintenance:

2007-11-05T16:29:00.001-06:00

The gravity generator in room 315 is on the fritz again.

70-400

2007-10-24T22:50:00.001-05:00

Since the beta is nearing it's end (last day tomorrow!), I feel relatively safe in posting my thoughts that I jotted down the night after I took the test.

A short note that the SCCM beta is out next month. Keep an eye on MyITForum for details.

So I took the TS: Configuring Microsoft® System Center Operations Manager beta test on Friday. I found it a little disappointing, and I’ll tell you as much as I can without divulging questions or answers.

Firstly, it was strictly question – answer, your standard Microsoft exam. Some multiple choice, some select three of five, some select the right answer. No “Drag three of these five over there in the correct order”, no “Where would you click to do this”, no interactive at all. This could be simply because it was a beta test, I don’t know. But I found it a bit disappointing. I expected that since the exam is new that there would be a higher level of interactivity. Perhaps those questions are to come in the final exam.

It also lacked the dreaded "scenario" questions. Gone are the three paragraphs of garble that you have to sift through to find the two words that lead you to the "most right" answer. I didn't miss those at all.

There were many questions about restoring a dead RMS server. Be prepared to know how to do so, whether or not you have the encryption key backed up. And know the command line utilities associated with doing so.

Know how to import MOM 2005 management packs.

Know reporting and report subscriptions and publishing. This is likely the area I was least prepared for.

There were many questions around client monitoring. Know what the different client monitoring MP’s do, and what the “Business Critical” group is for.

Obviously, know what a Gateway Server is, and where it goes in a configuration where it’s needed. And know when you need it.

Know the difference between a console task and an agent task, and when each should be utilized.

The test was very straightforward, with very little I hadn’t encountered before. I relied upon real-world experience, reading all of the Microsoft documentation I could lay hands on, and watching the great MyITForumTV videos around SCOM.

It’s likely too late to sign up for the test, but if you’ve signed up and not taken it yet I wish you well.

Wait Until Next Year... again

2007-10-07T23:44:00.000-05:00

I may be one of the only Cub fans that did NOT expect them to take the World Series this year. They were after all only the best team in the worst division, and in any other division would not have been in the playoffs. And you can't have Ramirez going 0-the series and expect to win.
Still, it was nice to watch the Cubbies play some October baseball again.
If they come back mostly intact next year, they should be a force in the division again and hopefully go farther in the playoffs. Maybe even all the way.
Go Cubs Go!

Great New Blog

2007-09-30T20:33:00.000-05:00

New York Times columnist joins the blogsphere! Excellent posts abound at his blog here.

Random Thoughts

2007-09-15T07:15:00.000-05:00

Stolen from the Internet:

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?

What is the speed of darkness?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing here?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

Do you cry under water?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!

Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on . . . . . .. . . . .

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Sweet Corn

2007-09-02T19:14:00.000-05:00

It is a yearly tradition. The Hoopeston Sweet Corn Festival sneeks up on me. It completly slips my mind, and suddenly it's here.
And I loath the thought.
It works like this: I dread going, I enjoy the time mildly while we're there, and I hate having gone. I miss the money that went into the pockets of the vendors and the carnival bosses. Given the sheer number of kids we take, we can never get out of Hoopeston for less than a hundred dollars. And that's limiting the kids to three or four rides.
Yesterday, it cost about $3.00 each to ride the merry go round. $2 to go down the slide below.
And yesterday marked a big milestone in the saga of yearly carnival trips. But the kids have a great time, and look forward to it for weeks. And part of the proceeds go to a good cause.
For the first time in at least ten years, I was not required to escort a child down the big slide. I must admit a sense of loss while recording the kids coming down without me. While I look forward to thier growing years, watching these milestones pass and knowing that no more are coming to fill in the space is sad.
To say all of the above in short: I'm getting old.
And I post the movie below simply because I can. Yes, it's a crappy video taken from my Cingular 8525. But I smile every time when I watch Jeremiah come down on his back, laughing all the way.

Too early?

2007-08-31T20:59:00.000-05:00

It's the first of September, and the Cubs are in first place. They are playing well, and would be great if Zambrano could remember that little rectangle called the strike zone.

I am daring to hope...

The Frugal Muse

2007-08-23T22:50:00.001-05:00

I have found nirvana. Well, maybe geek nirvana. Booknerd Nirvana.
On the way to Pedro's (very good food, great salsa!) for lunch I spied a used bookstore. I hit it up after work and barely got out alive.
The Frugal Muse is a fine mixture of current and used books, CDs, videos, and DVDs. They have a great children's section, a fine SF section, and perhaps the largest selection of boxed books I've seen. The first thing I saw was a copy of Tad Williams new short story collection, signed. Be still my heart.
I picked up Hatchet (which believe it or not I've never read), Cruddy by Lynda Barry (which I'd never heard of but looks excellent and was $5.95) and Dan Simmons' The Terror ( a library reject for $8.00). Not a bad haul, and I would have spent more if they hadn't closed at 8:00pm.
Frugal has a giant SF section, including a great selection of Bradbury in both hardback and paperback. I also found Vonnegut's last published novel, and a few others that will have to wait until next trip.
The Frugal Muse is a dangerous place for someone like me. I'm going to have to limit the amount of cash I have on me when I go in there.

Once around the lake... again

2007-08-17T12:08:00.000-05:00

I figured if I can make it around the lake in Madison, surely the same thing would apply back at home, yes? Around an even smaller lake?

On Tuesday of this week I set out around our local Lake Vermilion. It's a shallow pond in comparison to most lakes in Wisconsin, but hey, it's our lake, and it's there.

I set out up Logon and then down the very steep hill to the lake on Denmark Road. This hill would never exist were that road made today, it's too steep. IDOT would figure out how to lengthen it and make it shallower. I was able to drop into Granny gear and power up the other side, and the it was down the hill past the country club and back up. Again I powered back up, but by the time I got to the top I was done in. I didn't stop but slowed way down and took my time.

The day was much hotter than my trip in Madison, and it was around 10:30 when I set out so it was getting hotter, not cooler. All of this ice in my first bottle was already gone. My second bottle though, which I had completly frozen, was still mostly solid and delicuously cold. Lesson learned: freeze the first bottle about half full then fill just before the ride, and freeze the second one entirely.

What I had once thought of as the long flat stretch of Denmark Road, going to West Newell, is not flat. It's a long hill going mostly up unti it gets to Denmark Road. There are some ups and down, but it's mostly up. Drive it and pay attention and you'll see it.
What all of that amounts to is that by the time I got to the long (and much welcome) downhill on Denmark Road, I was done. Seriously done. So I pulled into the Heron Wetlands (the second longest boardwalk in Illinois, did you know?), parked my bike in the shade of the pavilion, and crashed out on one of the picnic tables. It was wonderfully quiet and there was a nice breeze, and after ten minutes and some still-cold water (still ice in the bottle!), I was rejuvinated.
I'm somewhat proud that I made it up the other end of Denmark Road without stopping to walk the bike. The hill is not real steep, but it's long. Then the rest of the way home, a mostly straight shot down Vermilion, was uneventful. Well, except for the nearly overwhelming desire to stop for Dairy Queen, and missing the old A&W Root Beer stand across from the mall.

Some differences between Madison and Danville:

Bike Lanes: Danville - none. And I missed them. There's nothing fun about riding down a rural road with no bike lane and cars whizzing by at 55 mph.

Road Kill: Madison- one squirrel. Danville - many possums, and what may have once been a bird. I don't know why this struck me, but it did. Far more road kill down home. This is likely due to the more rural nature of the route.

Shade: Oh how I missed the shade of Madison. Much of my ride in Danville was in direct sunlight. Again the rural nature of the route, but there do seem to be far more 'old growth' trees up north. That's what I get for living on the prarie.

Hills: Wisconsin is far hillier than Illinois... unless you're riding around the lake.

Conclusion: Next time, ride it early or late, but never in the middle of the afternoon when the temperature is over 90 degrees again.