Taking Orders!

Taking orders! You too can own a copy of my first published fiction!* At only $5, it's gotta be worth it!

Who knows, someday it could be worth $6! Hit the Paypal link at the bottom of the posted link. If you like it, go back and buy the first edition too!

Her description of my story is perfect: "a pizza delivery guy who has an experience straight out of a pulp-horror magazine". Go buy it!

*Technically, I've been published online, but this is the first time for print fiction

Completely Geeked

Ok, I know, it’s not a big deal. It’s a little chapbook no-pay publication. And yet.

It’s so cool.

Published!

Other than a short piece in the online webzine Aphelion years ago, my fiction writing efforts have languished in the drawer.

I am more than pleased that I’ve finally broken through into print. The start-up chapbook magazine TBR Tallboy has accepted my story “We Deliver” for it’s December issue. W00t!

I think it’s a fun, scary story about a pizza delivery gone horribly wrong, and TBR Tallboy’s YA slant is perfect for it.

You can read more about the magazine here, where you can also order issues. AT only $5.00, it’s worth it!

Contentment

"Daddy,

scratch my back"

she said, sitting

pulling up the back of her shirt.

I did, because

that's what fathers do

when daughters ask.

Eventually,

after a few

"over"s and

"down"s

I hit the spot.

She sighed

the tension drained out

like a wound spring turning to warm wax

she turned her head

and looked at me

and smiled.

I wanted to tell her

that this might be as good as it ever gets

that six was easy but at sixteen

we'd be arguing

over

boys and clothes and homework and piercings and chores and other silly things

But

I decided to just take the smile, for now

until the night she needs it again.

Parts is Parts part 2

I’ve finally gotten around to tearing down the two power chairs that I rescued from the dumpster. The Jazzy chair (pictured in the first two shots) was complete, so we just took off the chair and the cover to get to the chassis and guts that you see here. I tried plugging it in overnight but got no movement from it. The lights under the joystick were happy to blink at me, but other than that there was no activity. The left side motor (pictured here) is fairly covered with rust, and the lever the moves it from “freewheel” to “geared” is very hard to move, but still works. This motor may have issues and I’ll likely tear it down for a closer look

.

The second chair was much less complex (no ‘suspension’ like the Jazzy has) and came apart with a basic nut driver screwdriver and some Allen and Torx bits. The motors, batteries and control circuits all look really good and things don’t appear any worse for the time in the rain.

 

My current thinking is to begin with a joystick controlled lawnmower that I can just follow behind and control while it mows. This will allow me to at least prove the concept. At that point I can work on replacing the joystick with some form of interface to a receiver. I’ve seen at least one other blog where someone has done this, and it appears to lower the complexity of the build quite a bit. The plan is to essentially remove the wheels from the mower and build a frame for the drive assembly, then mount the mower in the frame.

Next steps will be trickle-charging all of the batteries to see if they’ll hold a charge, then motor testing and repair (if needed). After that I’ll decide which set of control circuitry to use and begin building the frame.

Watch this space for updates!

Parts is parts

What do these pictures look like to you? Someone's junk, sitting by the dumpster and waiting for the garbage truck? Someone got a new power chair and is getting rid of their old ones? Someone passed away and relatives are finally throwing away some things?

These are pictures of what was sitting by the dumpster at the storage place where we keep junk that we don’t need every day but can’t throw away. Ok, well, stuff my wife can’t throw away. Really, if it’s been in a box in storage for a year and you haven’t needed it, don’t you think you can live without it?

I’m wondering if even the concept of storage units is unique to America, the land of consumerism.

I digress. Anyway, my wife looked at these and saw junk. I looked and saw four likely perfectly good 24v DC motors, two batteries, and the electronics to control it all. It was raining so I couldn’t deal with them right that moment. I worried through the night that someone would get to them before me, and went back to storage as the sun came up to go and deal with them. As they were too big for the van and too heavy for me, I hitched them to the van with the rope and towed them to our storage unit, where they await dismantling or moving to my garage when I get some help and a pickup truck.

I’ve long been a tinkerer, starting from one of my earliest memories of cutting the cord on my parents alarm clock to see what would happen… while it was plugged in. I moved on to forts and tree houses and robots in high school and computers for a living. But I still love building something unique and weird, and in these two discarded power chairs I see endless possibilities.

My first two thoughts: I’ve been thinking lately about building my own Segway. With one of these as a starting point it would be relatively cheap. While I think that Segways are pretentious and playthings for the rich, building my own would have a sufficient level of “cool” that I might just do it. It sounds like a tall order, but there is really lots information out there on the internets on how to get it done.

The other thought is lawn mowing. I’ve long had a desire to build either an GPS guided mower or a remote controlled mower. Given the large hill that I now have to mow in front of the house, this may just win out.

Time will tell, and I’ll keep things updated here on whatever happens with them.

Mike Rowe tells us what pig-wrangling is like

Have I mentioned that I like Mike Rowe?

…Tell your grandson, when he has a moment, to take a large Hefty garbage bag and fill it halfway to the top with jello and yogurt. Fill the rest of the bag with marbles. Mix them all together. Ideally, the bag should weigh between 90 and 100lbs. Now, have him tie the bag shut, very tightly, and rub the outside in Vaseline. Then collect as much dog poo as possible and apply that to the entire surface of the bag. Try not to miss a single spot. The poo should stick to the Vaseline quite easily. Now, have him pick up the bag, and carry it from room to room as quickly as possible. As he attempts to do this, you and your other grandchildren should follow him closely, squealing at the top of your lungs, and kicking him.
It's kind of like that.